Are you stressed out by the little things? Do you often want to rip people’s hair out (or your own)? Does it really annoy you that this sounds like an infomercial for prescription drugs? Then read on, sister, ’cause I’ve got six signs that you need to loosen up! Life is super stressful, yes, but I’d bet that 90% of that stress is self-inflicted. Let’s see if you fit the bill of a self-stresser in need of a major chill sesh…
1. People run up to you and ask for your autograph cause they think you’re Harry Potter! They mistake the signature lightning bolt scar for that vein in your forehead that always looks like it could explode at any moment.
2. Your palms are always sweaty, not because you’re nervous, but because you keep your hands in fists… you always want to punch people! Mostly the people that ask ‘how are you?’ with enthusiasm.
3. You give yourself a hard time for always wanting froyo. If you are a human being that has ever had froyo, you are allowed to never be able to stop thinking about it. I give you permission. But also this one is science.
4. Every other word out of your mouth is a reminder that you have some sort of project you almost forgot to do. This makes your emotions act like windshield wipers, briskly switching from manic, to sad, to hysterical to desperate to giggling uncontrollably. What are you feeling? You can’t tell!
5. When you inhale, your blouses bust open and when you sit down, your top buttons fly off. Okay, maybe this is just that your clothing needs to loosen up. Give the organs a well-deserved oxygen break, hot mama!
6. Finally, everything just comes to a boiling point and you find yourself running around your block naked and screaming. You also pull a Britney and shave your head. (Are we still calling it that?)
See how silly it is to be uptight and stressed? Take up kickboxing. Take up mediation. Take up a more bohemian wardrobe with fewer built-in bras. Just do something for yourself! Oooh, maybe even a mantra. Like, ‘ain’t no thing but a chicken wing’.
Remembering to loosen up and give yourself a break is the best kind of medicine around. So chiiiiiilllllllll, girl.
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