Incessant Twitter updates, an unparalleled knowledge of celebrity culture, a commitment to reality television that makes you the perfect co-host for any entertainment broadcast and the ability to spot a phenomenon of the musical, literary, television or film variety before the general public are integral characteristics of your personality. You are like the Ryan Seacrest of your social network – if something is happening in Hollywood, you know about it. Awards shows are national holidays in your house. Day-to-day conversation consists of the latest app, newest food or fashion craze (you were addicted to fro-yo long before anyone was calling it that), most swooned after boy band or summer festival headliner and the latest up-and-coming social movements. Someone should call network television and give them the heads up that you are the new culture queen. Here are the six signs that prove pop culture rules your life…
You are actually offended when one of your friends doesn’t know what happened on Glee last night.
Except this general annoyance with the entertainment oblivious isn’t limited to Glee or those people lucky enough to call you their friend. It is pretty much an unwritten rule that you expect anyone with a pulse that comes in contact with you to know who got voted off what shows, laugh when you quote that hilarious joke from Modern Family and completely understand when you parallel your latest relationship to something that happened with Nick and Jess or Jim and Pam. You can also name more members of the Kardashian Klan than former presidents and have voted for more contestants on The Voice than you have for political candidates over the years. Needless to say, your reality television line-up takes commitment (especially after squeezing The Rachel Zoe Project back into the schedule) and you even became borderline concerned when you added Married To Jonas and What Would Ryan Lochte Do? to your repertoire. We all understand a little old school Jonas Brothers allegiance, but Mr. Lochte is the trainwreck you just can’t turn away from. Thank god for DVR or it would be impossible to keep up.
You consider E! News the real news and you get all other ancillary information required for adult conversation from twitter or The Today Show, to which you show favoritism mainly because you love the fourth hour with Hoda and Kathie Lee.
You also consider the E! Red Carpet Series to be investigative journalism at its finest. In all reality, 95% of the accounts you follow on social media are some extension of the television shows you watch, celebrities you feel you relate to or endless magazine subscriptions you insist on keeping; your coffee table is beginning to resemble the waiting room in a doctor’s office. You do follow the traditional news outlets though. After all, they are always the first to report on the happenings at The White House and Beyoncé has been known to sing there!
Your vanity, closet and cupboards are filled with brands built up by Hollywood’s Hot 100.
Seriously, you are the reason that marketers spend billions of dollars every year on famous representation. Shampoo? L’Oreal, duh! Lea Michele easily convinced you that you could have hair like hers. Your water is probably of the smart variety (who doesn’t want their H20 to make them look like Jennifer Aniston), Pepsi and Coke are in a major battle for your purchase with Queen B and Taylor Swift in their respective corner’s and you recently bought a pair (maybe a couple pairs) of Keds, a shoe you haven’t looked twice at since second grade, all because of Miss Swift’s glowing recommendation. This is just the tip of the Hollywood heist over our everyday consumables, but it is safe to say that if it is celebrity endorsed, you are a sucker for testing it out at least once.