As Beyoncé (perhaps the greatest thing to happen to both our dancing booties and female-kind as a whole) is known to say, “A diva is a female version of a hustla.” Preach!
Being a problem is not cool, but being so awesome and in control that people faint in your presence? Yes, please. It may not be humanly possible to reach the levels of Queen Bey, but here are a few signs you’re on the right path. Ooohhh yeah, people be afraid of you, and it’s all good…
1. You’ve been known to rock a pantsuit on occasion.
Or really any kind of innovative pant outfit— this extends to rompers. For some reason, matching fabric from your shoulders to your crotch is not for everyone. So the fact that you’re confident enough to do it is tres intimidating.
2. You’re inexcusably you.
No one ever knows what’s going to come out of your mouth next. Will it be charming? About cake? Or crazy aggressive in that comical way only you can pull off? You don’t just keep people on their toes, you keep them on the edge! The edge is dangerous… You’re so mysterious… Yup. You’ve won the game of talking, all by being yourself and refusing to have a conversation about the weather for the twelfth time this hour.
3. You’re always UBER caffeinated.
You drink a lot of coffee and your energy level is therefore through the roof. You get so much done! But how does your heart not explode from your chest? This conundrum is terrifying to the normally caffeinated. You are scary and intense. You are everything great about the rage before the acid reflux storm. Your goals come to fruition. Dayuuum.
4. You’re the best friend.
Your friends come first—and no one is messing with your girls! Hot Mama, you’re the first to proverbially take out your earrings to defend their honor. You’re the body guard of the group, which means as great of a friend as you are, you’re an even greater enemy. It’s fine though, cause you’re using your powers for good. ‘If you’re going to have a great time taking my girl to dinner, you’re going to call her the next day! Do. You. Hear. Me?’.
5. Beauty stuff.
You just smell like power. Whatever perfume or lotion you’re using can’t cover the pheromones of absolute world domination coming out of your pits. You’ve also got bold Cara Delevingne brows, to boot. People are running from you! Only because they’re working so hard not to run directly into your arms.
6. You’re incredibly genuine and giving.
Lastly, strangers meet you and things immediately happen in their pants. People you love are always like, ‘Why is she friends with me?’. You seem to have it all and yet continue to be so nice and sincere. There are even folks who spend years trying to find your hidden agenda. But they can’t! Cause you don’t have one. How gosh tootin’ intimidating!
So my scary friends… don’t worry about hombres being afraid of you. As long as you’re still gracious they’re just intimidated. Gosh, I’m jealous and I don’t even know you! Go ahead, walk down the streets spitting “I’m a-a diva (hey), I’m a, I’m a-a diva (hey)” on repeat. You’ve earned it, just like Bey.
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