If you’ve got a smartphone, chances are you’ve played Flappy Bird. If you’ve played Flappy Bird, chances are you’ve wasted hours – maybe even whole days – trying like hell to get that stupid fat bird to stay in the air and away from the green pipes. You’ve probably uttered more profanity since downloading the app than you have in your entire life combined. Flappy Bird is a disease, we’re all infected and there is no cure. Things are getting serious.
1. You need an extra cup of coffee in the morning from staying up too late the night before trying to beat your best score.
You were just gonna play for 15 minutes, and the next thing you know, you’ve missed primetime TV entirely and it’s already the next day. It’s dangerous. “One more game” turns into 100 more games and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it.
2. You try to learn about physics to somehow understand how such a small bird can crash to the ground so quickly.
It doesn’t seem humanly possible, but then, Flappy Bird isn’t a human. The speed at which this little SOB nosedives into the ground – milliseconds at most – will boggle the mind AND scientific fact.
3. You casually browse the #FlappyBird tag on Instagram to check out how far ahead (or behind) other players you are…
242? Seriously, does someone have a cheat for this game or what?
4. … And you upload your own latest high scores, because why wouldn’t you?
5. You’ve developed gameplay theories which you explain to others when you’re asked how you’re doing so well.
You should definitely play on silent because the flapping noise is distracting. Speaking of distractions, though, you should hold a conversation or be sorta intentionally NOT over-concentrating to get further along. Paying too much attention to the game totally makes you too antsy and tap-happy and means you’ll lose quicker.
6. You write (or read!) an article about Flappy Bird taking over your life.
Hey, it’s okay. It happens to the best of us.
Featured image via Flappy Bird