6 Reasons I'm Glad I Never Had a College BoyfriendLaura Donovan

During my senior year, a family member jokingly asked whether I was a lesbian.

I hadn’t had a boyfriend for 2.5 years — my high school boyfriend — and unlike the happy couples strolling through campus hand-in-hand, my romantic history was nothing to phone home about.. In reality, I’d had flings but nothing stable, and this worried me when my commencement ceremony rolled around. I’d been told it’s extremely hard to meet new people after graduation (biggest lie ever), and with almost 30% of married folks meeting in college, I considered myself a lost cause.

Had I missed out on the great American college experience by never falling in love during my university years? Well, no, and not enjoying every aspect of higher education is okay and doesn’t a failure make. It actually reminds me of fellow Giggler Anna Swenson’s column on never going to prom. Now we have great boyfriends who were absolutely worth years upon years of letdowns. Here are some benefits to never having a significant other in college.

6. More time with friends.

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At 25, my social life is mellow, but in college, I was always out and about. I never had to worry about staying in or blowing off my buddies to be with a guy. I’m still close with a lot of these girls and am so glad they got the bulk of my non-working/studying time in school.

5. Not being bound to anyone, or any place, come graduation.

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Shortly after obtaining my degree, I moved to Washington, D.C., to pursue a career in online media and I didn’t have to worry about factoring a boyfriend into my post-college plans. I know couples make it through this all the time, but it was nice not having to work my goals and moves around a guy on top of everything else.

4. More freedom all around.

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Without someone special in my life, I had the freedom to throw myself into the college paper, volunteer with a community service fraternity, go to office hours every week and thrive in class. College isn’t just good for making friends and professional contacts, but also for exploring different opportunities, of which I took full advantage as a student.

3. Constantly being exposed to new people.

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With a different set of classes each semester, college is all about meeting more people than you can keep up with. We’ve established that I never found anyone to love during undergrad, but I got my hopes up every year, and if nothing else, it was liberating to know I could like a new classmate sans guilt if the situation presented itself.

2. Post-grads are at least a little more mature.

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Maybe I surrounded myself with cads, but most of the guys I met in college only cared about sleeping around as much as possible before finishing school. While there are definitely some sleazy post-grads out there, men are at least a little more grown up and mature after their college years. I cringe to think about what my life would look like now had I ended up with any of the bros I fell for at UA. Perhaps they changed after graduation, but I had another pool of contenders by then. Though frowned upon, good relationships can come out of the workplace, and there’s always online dating for long-lasting love.

1. Having different experiences and creating new ones together later in life.
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Shared memories and experiences are important, but I like viewing the past as the past. I can regale my beau about my adventures at UA and he can talk about his fun times at USC. We share the present and future but aren’t constantly looking back on what used to be.

If you found the love of your life in college — or a person who shaped your love life in a positive way — cheers to you, but waiting a little longer for the right person to come around made me appreciate my relationship that much more.

What are your thoughts on college romances? Share in the comments section.

 

Featured images via Collider, BlogSpot, Yahoo!, The Jane Dough, WeEatFilms, HelloGiggles and ShutterStock.

 

Related posts:

The Rugrats: Where Are They Now?

Five Ways ‘Felicity’ Ruined My Life

Important Advice For College Freshmen

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  1. If you have a deficit that becomes impossible to conceive they would need to do anything., payday loan, 7123,

  2. i had a BF my soph year of college and as much as i still “love” and respect him now…. numbers 4, 5, and 6. BIG TIME. i finished off college with two years of awesome that would have taken a very special relationship to be able to experience otherwise.

  3. I think it just depends on who you find, and that you shouldn’t not have a significant other based on the strict beliefe that you don’t want a ‘college’ boyfriend, or even ‘high school’ or ‘after college’ boyfriend. I think the right time comes when it does, no matter the specific timing of it. I found the perfect guy at the end of my freshman year in college, it is 2.5 years later, and I hope to marry him one day. We weren’t looking for anyone, we just kinda met and everything worked. I would seriously regret not dating him solely for the reason of “it’s good to not have a ‘college’ boyfriend.” These things are completely situational. We have a healthy relationship, and I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything in life. I have a friend who knows he is just way too independent for any kind of commitment. And I have other friends who party it up on the weekends because they don’t want serious commitments and want flings. The only friends I see who are unhappy are those who freak out and insist on finding a guy in college. This article is good for people who may be freaking out about finding someone before leaving college, but I personally think that people shouldn’t insist on not having or having a ‘college’ boyfriend one way or the other, and just let whatever happens happen.

    • I totally agree — it is situational! Some people might look at me and say, “why are you so serious with your new boyfriend? You’re only 25!” But I’m just glad to be with that person. It didn’t happen for me in college but it does happen for a lot of people. There’s no wrong experience.

  4. I was able to do most all of this even though I had a college boyfriend. 5 years and going strong!

  5. Yeah, as a guy, I totally agree. I haven’t had a girlfriend for 23 and a half years now. No flings in that time either. I took a a girl to the cinema once. Complete nightmare. Don’t know why people bother. I’m definitely happy being so alone and unloved. I get ever so much free time to spend with my imaginary friends! And I’m just so free and unbound ya’know. I can just spend all day sitting around the house doing nothing, all day, every day. In fact I haven’t left the house in over 2 weeks now. Life is goooood <3

  6. I completely disagree with almost everything…the author sounds like she’s assuming relationships mean you have to hang out all the time. I can’t stand clingy couples so uh no way. Why can’t you still go out and meet new friends with or without a significant other in tow? Why wouldn’t you put your friends first some nights and devote as much time as you can to them even if you’re in love with someone else? Why shouldn’t you still follow your dreams just cause you’re dating someone awesome? Sheesh. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t remain an individual and do cool things on your own. I dated my boyfriend in college for a year but he was older and we’ve been long distance for three years ever since. I live in New York City, following my costume design dreams and he lives in D.C., following his wildlife/government dreams. We are great together and great apart as people or a couple.

    • Of course you can do all of those things! I’m just saying my world didn’t fall apart simply because I didn’t click well with college guys. When I graduated, I didn’t have to factor a boyfriend into my plans. And yeah, you do have to make a decision if you’re serious: are we breaking up, are we doing distance, are we moving to the same place, etc. For me, it worked out better not to date in college but obviously it’s great for some others.

  7. Im nearly 30 and have had zero actual committed boyfriends, I dont sleep around, and Im proud of that! I havent let being in a relationship define me, Ive had time to figure myself out before dragging a guy into anything, and dont get me started on being called a lesbian because i dont bring a boyfriend to family or work functions! I want to be an amazing woman for the right MAN not boy!

  8. I am STILL in college, but I have been feeling more and more ok with not having had any serious love interests. I felt (and let’s be real still sometimes do) that I was missing out on something by not having a college relationship. Like you though the majority of the boys I’ve met over my last two years at school are not anything to write home about. My family is ALWAYS wondering when I’ll meet someone, but I am a big believer in getting a solid education (about myself and school) before finding that person! Thanks for the article it was a nice validation :-)

  9. Well said! I didn’t have a boyfriend in college (mostly a lot of flings) and I’m all the happier for it. I’m able to find love and happiness within myself which needs to happen before making any kind of relationship commitment to another person. I know lots of sorority sisters and friends that married their high school sweethearts or married the people they dated in college and they are so blissfully happy with their S.O.s, but it just wasn’t for me. Every one carves their own path :)

  10. I am still with my college boyfriend! Today marks 2 years!!

  11. I met my boyfriend in college and we are still dating! Today marks 2 years :)

  12. I had the same boyfriend throughout high school and college. We broke up in grad school, mostly because we couldn’t agree on how to solve the long-distance aspect of our situation. I don’t regret my time with him at all, and we remain friends, but I am so glad that I’ve since had the chance to learn about myself as an individual and date other types of men before settling down. Dating post-college can be intimidating because the built-in social network in which to meet people often dissipates, but I love the person I became during my single years post-college. I didn’t always love it when I was going through it, but I never would have become that girl if I’d stayed in the same relationship.

    • Thanks for sharing, Jessica. I stayed with my high school boyfriend my first year of college, but distance began to wear on the both of us. We also weren’t growing by staying together. I agree with that last sentence — I wouldn’t be the person I am today had I gone the safe route and stayed with him.