The second Trader Joe’s begins selling pumpkins is when I know I have to start planning my Halloween costume. We all know that if you procrastinate on this task, you will end up borrowing your sister’s cat ears, throw on a black romper and call it a night. As a college student, I understand that budgeting a great Halloween costume involves money and time, two things that are just not abundant in our lives. Although this list truly speaks to my fellow English major nerds, fiction and poetry lovers alike can find a way to express their love for the written word while investing a minimal amount of cash on All Hallow’s Eve. It definitely beats that slutty Native American costume on sale, if you ask me.
1. Ernest Hemingway
Hemingway was known for being a man’s man. He wore thick turtle neck sweaters, smoked cigarettes, drank whiskey and liked to hunt. Oh, and he wrote a few monumental novels as well.
1. Turtleneck sweater, preferably made from wool, but you can be flexible on this. I would shop around your nearest Goodwill.
2. A pack of Pall-Malls, the hipster’s choice of lung cancer and the 1920’s choice of class and despondency. If you are not of age, go with a plastic pipe.
3. A glass of apple juice. Or, you know, whiskey. Refill with ice-cubes every hour or so, since Hemingway seems like an “on the rocks” kind of guy.
4. Plastic shot-gun
2. Lord Byron
Lord Byron, master of poetic swagger, was known to be a little bit rebellious. Since Cambridge wouldn’t allow him to keep his pet dog in the dorm room, he adopted a bear and brought it with. Since the university did not have any specific rules regarding pet bears, they had no choice but to allow him to keep his beloved animal.
1. A robe; the color red is preferable
2. A white collared button up
3. A large stuffed bear that you should tie a leash or rope to and drag along with you on your merry adventures
3. Zombie Juliet
Forget the beautiful glowing gown; find a renaissance dress on Ebay or a thrift store and splatter it with some blood. Zombie Juliet has risen from the dead and wants her revenge on the Capulets. If my family had driven me to suicide, I would want nothing more than to scare them to death.
1. Renaissance dress
2. Fake blood
3. White face paint
4. Plastic dagger
4. Patrick Bateman
It’s easy to become Patrick Bateman, America’s favorite 90’s psychopath, hailing from Wall Street’s One Percent.
1. Fancy-looking suit. I’m sure this is available at Target
2. Hair spray/gel (for WASP hair-do)
3. A plastic chainsaw, or ax, even a knife will do.
4. Fake blood to smear on suit and face
5. Don’t forget your business card..
5. Emily Dickinson
Emily Dickinson is poetry’s beloved and canonized figure. With only one photograph of Emily, we really don’t know much about the girl, except that she was a hyper-intelligent and creative recluse. Since Emily’s sole remarkable physical trait was her center part, focus more on playing the role. Speak in vague, aloof statements and fragments. Carry around a paper with a dash on it. Whisper and curtsy often.
1. White frock
2. Ribbon to tie around neck
You can read more from Gina Vaynshteyn on her blog.