She-Ra was a great hero of mine. She had a special outfit for fighting injustice, a flying unicorn named Swift Wind, a sword that’s basically a telepathic telephone and an awesome brother. More than all of that, she she was a powerful woman capable of saving the universe all by herself. I recently revisited a few select episodes and learned she so much more than I every thought I would.
1) In general, don’t trust brunettes or those with other dark colors of hair – or no hair at all, for that matter.
One of She-Ra’s nemeses was Catra. In addition to having jet black hair, she also had a squeaky high cat voice and would meow. Also, she could turn into a jungle cat who was really mean. Meanwhile, She-Ra was a dazzling blonde whose hair got even more voluminous upon transforming from Adora to She-Ra. There was also the Sorceress who had a bird hat/hood on her head, and if I can’t trust a grown woman wearing a bird hood, who can I trust? As a brunette myself, you probably shouldn’t trust me. However, lately I’ve found strands of red and white in my hair, so maybe I’m okay. At least I’m not bald like that jerk Hordak, but I’m also not a living skeleton, so I’ve got that going for me, too.
2) Men are dumb and you’ll need to solve all their problems for them.
If Bow wasn’t getting captured, he was rushing ahead doing something foolish resulting in something horrible happening, like getting a pot stuck on his head. And you know who always had to pick up the pieces? Obviously, it was She-Ra. You would think these men would learn to stop and think in order to come up with a logical plan, but no such luck. These dummies will just continue to start wars, fill perfectly good See’s chocolates with nasty raspberry syrup and fall butt first into cacti. Lucky for them, they have us to save them – or at least point out to them how dumb they are.
Let’s all work together to keep men away from guns and pots and cacti and I think we’ll all be better off for it.
3) Announce yourself with a battle cry – as in “I am She-Ra!” as said by She-Ra. Note: Replace “She-Ra” with your actual name. Or not. Your choice.
It bolsters your confidence, truly. I tried it before poaching an egg and it didn’t bust apart or leak or anything. The battle cry is also useful for announcing yourself to a roomful of strangers, when on a job interview and for when you’re about to cry in public. I’m not saying it’ll stop you from crying in public, but at least people will know who you are when you do it so when they meet you in the future, they’ll treat you with more sensitivity.
4) If you ever write a crazy fantasy show filled with people named She-Ra, Gilmmer and Madame Razz who do things with magic, telepathy and talking tigers, know that you will be able to get away with making up a character that’s a talking broom and you will be able to name it Broom.
They named the broom Broom. That’s it. Not Sweepy or Straw Bottom or or Madame Razz’s In-Between Stick or something. Just Broom.
5) Man or woman, pants only get in the way. Always go with leotards, unitards, dresses or skirts.
Check it: no pants allowed for Bow or Prince Adam. She-Ra wears a dress that allows her maximum movement for her active lifestyle. Some might question why she has to wear a dress and not pants, but nobody wears the pants in her world. He-Man wears furry underpants, for God’s sake, and is all around a lot less clothed than his twin sis. She-Ra’s friend Bow doesn’t even wear pants, but instead chooses to wear blue tights to match his little blue underpant-type bottoms. He has to wear a crop top with a big old heart on it. But we probably would all forgo pants if we had the kind of muscle tone the residents of Etheria and Eternia have.
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Have you cdonisered adding a “subscribe by email” section to your blog? I hate missing out and yet rarely go looking on my blogger dashboard….
Wait, I thought I was the only Princess of Destruction! It’s actually kind of nice to know I wasn’t alone. So awesome now to watch She-ra with my kids, just wish I still had all my old toys.
Thank you for this awesome post. I was dubbed the Princess of Destruction for most of my childhood
I always wondered why the broom has such a long nose… Does he tell lies?