Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby is a delightful film. It’s got it all: great actors, stylish clothes, iconic haircuts… and Satan! What’s not to love? And from love comes learning. It’s not just entertaining, it’s educating. No. Wait. It’s edutaining. So here’s what I gleaned from my edutainment.
1) Struggling actors can afford amazing apartments.
Despite the fact that Rosemary’s husband Guy is a mostly out-of-work actor, he manages to somehow swing renting a humungous apartment in a super fancy building. Sure, a crazy old lady died in the apartment and they may or may not have Satanists for neighbors, but no place is perfect! So ignore what your mama told you and immediately get into a serious relationship with someone who is a yet-to-be discovered creative type who isn’t necessarily all that talented. You’ve even got enough money to immediately get pregnant! Everybody wins!
2) Your husband should be really honest about telling you how bad your hair looks, but nothing else.
Why do people get married? Why, to have someone tell them how horrible they look, of course! And also to remind them of that fact again and again. When Rosemary gets her hair chopped at the hands of Vidal Sassoon, Guy is the first to tell her how terrible it looks. He’s just trying to be helpful. He asks her if she actually paid to get it done. He’s concerned somebody attacked her with scissors. He’d have to go out and show the guy who did it a thing or two if that’s the case. He’s just being protective. A husband only wants his wife to look her best. Later, after the whole rape by Satan and demon baby growing inside of her business makes her deathly ill in appearance, he’s quick to remind her that she still looks fabulous and that it’s her hair that looks like crap. What a dreamboat! If only we could all find men who have the integrity to be honest about our haircuts.
3) Don’t accept smelly necklaces from your weird neighbors.
If a piece of jewelry stinking isn’t enough to make you not wear it, think again. If a necklace is smelly, there’s probably a reason… that reason probably being that there’s some stinky Grow-a-Stronger-Satan-Baby pellet inside of it.
4) No, it’s not a dream. And yes, it’s really happening.
If your husband bullies you into eating some bad chocolate mousse and then you have a nightmare, that nightmare is real. Just to reiterate: it’s not a dream. It’s really happening. So, yeah. The claw marks down your side are probably Satan’s. Just saying.
5) Scrabble is a great tool for problem solving, especially when those problems are Satanists!
I love Scrabble. And so did Rosemary. It helped her figure out that her neighbors were Satanists and more or less set her on the path to realizing she had the devil’s baby growing inside of her. Or at least it set her on the climb to the movie’s climax. Basically, Scrabble is great for figuring out things like that and it’s also a great activity for a rainy day. Or a sunny one. Any day! If you only take one lesson from Rosemary’s Baby let it be this: Scrabble is wonderful.