Tales of a Teen Granny 5 Reasons My Dog Thinks I'm Crazy Scarlett Curtis

A few months ago, I was having a really hard time and the solution my family and I came up with was that I should get a dog. Because a dog never judges you or thinks you’re strange, a dog will always stick by you no matter what and always be your friend. Right? Wrong! I seem to spend most of my time worrying about what my dog thinks of me.  I do understand this is the most insecure a human being can be  before they start hacking into their friends’ Facebooks to find out what they are saying about them, but it’s true.

Sometimes I’m convinced she hates me, sometimes I think she likes my mum more than me but most of the time I think she thinks I’m barking mad (excuse the pun). And here are the reasons why:

1. I talk to her like she’s human. My dog is fully aware of the fact she’s not human. She knows she’s covered in hair, half a foot tall and can’t speak. So she’s really confused about why I seem to think she’s human. Why I’m constantly asking her if she likes my outfit, what her opinion on the Hunger Games movie was and whether she too thinks that if Ryan Gosling just met us he would most definitely want to marry us. And this leads me onto point two…

2. I think we are the same person. I do remember a time when there was a ‘me’ and a ‘Posy’ (that’s my dog’s name), but this time is long gone. Now there is just  ‘we’. ‘We are big fans of Grey’s Anatomy.’ ‘We do not like wearing jeans.’ ‘We will be at your party, despite the fact we are perfectly aware you only invited the human part of us.’

3. I cry at everything, all the time. I thought when I got a dog, it would be a major comfort. I thought when I started to cry, my dog would be there to comfort me and snuggle. No such luck – my dog hates it when I cry. You can just see the boredom creep into her face as those tears start rolling. As soon as my chin begins to quiver, she literally leaves the room – that’s how uninterested she is. And what makes it worse is that I cry at everything. I cry when a drop a stitch while knitting. I cry when a TV show I love gets cancelled. I cry when I find out there was no Grey’s Anatomy this week. I cry during Grey’s Anatomy at both happy and sad moments. I cry because when I begin to cry my dog leaves the room because she’s so fed up that I’m always crying.

4. I think she is my best friend. To back up my point, here are some word for word extracts from recent conversations with my parents:

Dad: Have all your friends been talking about the Hunger Games all week?

Me: No, Posy hasn’t seen it yet.

 

Mum: Why don’t you take a friend to that art gallery today?

Me: I don’t think they allow dogs.

 

Me: Posy, look, I made you a friendship bracelet to prove we are friends forever.

Posy: Leave me alone, I’m trying to eat.

 

5. I have just written a whole piece for HelloGiggles about why my dog thinks I’m crazy, and that’s a pretty crazy thing to do.

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  1. I tell my dog Weagle that he is my favorite and he can tell all the others (my husband, the other dog, and the cat). I also tell everyone that he is my soulmate. Me and my husband also make up stories about them (like a comic strip) and all the exciting adventures they have. Example: My cat Moe drives an el camino and Weagle is a stand up comic and business owner. My dog Milton likes to style his awesome eyebrows in different themes everyday. I think thats the most embarassing thing I’ve ever admitted to but atleast my husband shares part of the shame.

  2. Haha I talk to my dog too and I’m like geez Little Fox why won’t you talk back…but then I’m like no I’m totally kidding I would be really freaked out if you did…and the whole time he is just looking at me like what is going on. Oh! and about the crying thing, you are so not alone on that I cry for everything too. Cute Babies, puppies, music, a good conversation, going to a concert and being so proud of my favorite singers for living out their dream haha. You name it and I am most likely in tears. :)

  3. I refer to my dog as my little man to whom I go to bed with every night. I feel better now.

  4. I talk to my cat ALL the time. I am certain he thinks I am crazy, but as I continue to feed him regularly he makes allowances.

  5. I’ve said this to you before, but in not so many words, I think you are amazing, and funny, and deep, and thoughtful and thought provoking, and if I were your age, I would have loved to hang with you, and get you to teach me all of those crafty things you know how to do.

  6. LOL! I sob uncontrollably whenever I watch Hairspray… “It’s just such a great message!” I say out loud as tears pour down.. I think crying at beautiful things is only bad when you judge yourself.. We’re emotional creatures, and crying is a wonderful release, so just embrace it!
    Besides, I think it’s weird to NOT cry… who wants to be a robot??

  7. I think my dog rocky and psy should start a dog owners support group

  8. I think you sound completely normal, but maybe that’s because I cry during “Friends” reruns and am throwing a birthday party for my rabbit later today. Who needs a doctor when you can talk to your dog!??

  9. sweetie,to me you sound deeply depressed,this constant melancholie is not normal. Maybe you should talk to a Dr.
    As for talking to Posie? My hamster Anatole would totally relate to that ;)

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