I rarely get invited to the kinds of holiday parties I want to go to. The kinds of holiday parties I see on TV and in movies. In fact, I rarely get invited to holiday parties at all since I’m not yet a classy adult with classy adult friends who host classy adult holiday parties for the most part. Until then, I will satisfy my craving for classiness with this list of holiday parties to which I wish I could’ve gone.
1) Bridget Jones’ Diary – Geoffrey and Una’s New Year’s Day Turkey Curry Buffet
An invitation to the turkey curry buffet is an invitation to Mark Darcy’s face and more importantly, his fantastic Christmas sweater featuring a large reindeer head. A turkey curry buffet is a buffet at which you will meet the man of your dreams. Sure, you’ll have a complicated path to the top of Love Mountain, but everyone’s gotta start somewhere. So if you’re invited to one such buffet, go.
2) Emma – Christmas Party at Emma’s house
Any period piece party will do. I would have to say one without dancing simply because I’d need a bit of time to learn the choreography, but after I’ve learned all their moves, I’d definitely need dancing involved. Firstly, Emma’s party offers pretty empire waist dresses and a punch bowl. Rare is it that a party with a punch bowl isn’t wonderful.
Then there’s a food pyramid. A pyramid made out of food objects. I’ve never gone to a party with one of those so this event would tick that off the list.
And finally, you get to sit quietly and have chats with your close friends. I’m not the biggest fan of rowdiness and am sure I would love a party where I could drink punch ladled into my goblet, eat food from a 3D triangle and then cozy myself by the fire and have a nice gossip with a good friend.
3) Everyone Says I Love You - The Groucho party
A Groucho Marx party in Paris where a song and dance number is included? Sign me up. There’re probably great drinks and fancy food and you get to wear silly moustaches and glasses.
Goldie and Woody mustachioed and glass-ioed: What more could you want at Christmas?
4) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – The Yule Ball
Do I even have to say why this party is awesome? It’s a party thrown by wizards. The decorations will amaze you, the food would be delightful, the drinks endless, the clothing kooky and altogether it’s bound to be a, dare I say, magical evening. I dared. I did it. It’s going to snow inside and you’re not going to get soggy.
There will be only silly hats. And members of many famous bands will come together to form a supergroup ghoulish wizard band that everyone’s going to love. And then there’s probably lots of teen drama, so that’ d be pretty cool, too.
5) Mad Men - Office holiday party
For our final party we jump to the small screen, as well as into a time machine to the 1960s.
Everyone knows a great Christmas party involves a snack table with a diverse array of tasty treats, at least one couple making out, and a kicky conga line. Take it back to the 60s and everyone’s going to look great by making sure they’re dressed to the nines and have a great ‘do atop their head.
I’d say any party that so bemuses Don and Peggy is a success. And I wish I’d been there. With my Christmas tree brooch. That’s right, Peggy, I see that Christmas tree brooch. We all see it.