Okay, let me first preface this by saying that this post is for you if you’ve ever had trouble making new girlfriends in your adult life. In my 29 years, I’ve been incredibly lucky to be surrounded by some of the most amazing ladies on the planet, but even so, I love meeting new people with the possibility of making a new friend here or there. The problem, though, is that I think I’m kind of weird. My darling husband likes to call it borderline snobby (whatever, Hank), but I definitely feel strongly about a few things needing to click with potential new friends. I mean, hello, I’m not 12 anymore. I feel like I can be picky at this point. So if we meet and we have nothing in common outside of the fact that we’re both women and think Ryan Gosling is hot, I think it’s a fair assumption to say we probably won’t become BFF anytime soon (although love for Ryan G can be a bonding point). However, that’s not to discount the whole opposites attract thing – I have quite a few friends who are nothing like me – but for the sake of this column, let’s just say we’re looking for our bff soulmate… you know, the whole “OMG, ME TOO” friend. The peanut butter and jelly, sister soulmate, the where-ya-been-all-my-life kinda deal.
These five Halloween costumes are made for meeting your new best friend. On Halloween night, if someone recognizes you to be one of these five people, you can consider it friend love at first sight. For real.
1. Sylvia Plath.
Here’s what you do: take a cardboard box and make it look like an oven, some way, some how. Stick in on your head. Wear a mid-century vintage dress and carry around a notebook and pencil. Look worried and over-analytical most of the night. Say things like, “As amid the hectic music and cocktail talk, she hears the caustic ticking of the clock.” Warning: you may end up not even getting a chance to meet new, awesome, literary gal pals because weirdo Lit. major dudes won’t be able to get over your “super amazing, inspiring and somehow sexy” costume. I may or may not know this from experience.
2. Claudia Kishi.
Yes, from The Baby-sitters Club. This fabulously eccentric 13-year-old is pretty much the definition of cool. Think artsy, think funky. For my own personal version of C.K., I’d most likely wear a crop top with a vest over it. The vest would absolutely have to have some sort of DIY element to it though – buttons sewn on haphazardly or maybe even some paint. I’d pair it with some longer shorts and Docs with colored laces. If you don’t have long black hair you’d need a wig, but you’d definitely want to do it in one of her signature styles – either a long side braid or messy bun. I’d also probably bring along an old school ’80s rotary phone (hello, she was the only girl who had her own line), stuff my pockets with candy and wear a “BSC” button on my lapel. You never know, maybe your future best friend is out there, figuring out just how exactly to convey her inner BSC-member self, Stacey McGill.
3. Angela Chase.
My So-Called Life was the show of my adolescence. It was unfortunately short-lived, but even in its brief lifespan it made a huge impact on me. I can remember every episode with such clarity, and outside of the show’s obvious crush-worthy character Jordan Catalano, Angela Chase completely won me over with her painfully awkward, self-aware teenage naivety, who I could without a doubt relate to. Growing up, I had my very own Jordans, Rayannes and Rickies, and even now, I always feel an immediate kinship with anyone who shares my love of this series. So dressing like Angela Chase for Halloween seems like an easy choice. Choosing which Angela look to go with is simple, too – in my mind, I always picture her in one particular look she wore in a lot of the promo photos. A red flannel dress, with a cream sweater with green and mustard yellow sleeves, tights, Docs and a red Jansport backpack. Her signature red bob is key too.
4. Kurt Cobain – but specifically Kurt Cobain from his Unplugged in New York appearance.
Sure, you’re probably a girl. But there’s no reason you can’t switch it up for one night. And I guarantee you once you slip on that green mohair, angora-yarn vintage sweater that you’ll hopefully find at a thrift store, you’ll never want to take it off. Cardigan, raggedy tee underneath, thifted gray-ish pants and generic sneakers complete the look. Top it off with an acoustic guitar and you’re set. Bonus for greasy hair, bloodshot eyes and a scratchy voice. The sweater is the dead giveaway though, and anyone who recognizes that gets one hundred extra friend points in my book.
5. Viola Swamp.
There’s one particular vintage children’s book that a few of my friends and I consider to be the coolest kid’s book of all time – Miss Nelson Is Missing! The book’s premise is all about this very sweet teacher who decides to pretend she’s gone missing so her unruly students appreciate her more once they’re at the mercy of a mean substitute teacher. Ms. Nelson is tired of being walked all over, so she disguises herself as Ms. Viola Swamp, the meanest, scariest sub in all of the land. To achieve Miss Swamp’s signature look, you’d need a black, puffy wig, possibly a fake, crooked nose and lots of pink blush. A simple black, short-sleeved dress will do, just be sure to wear green striped tights and clunky black shoes. To top off the look, I’d probably carry around a ruler and a gradebook.
So there you have it, five Halloween costumes for a rad gal who wants to meet other rad gals. I am certain that anyone who would recognize any of these looks would be my kinda friend. These are my five. What are yours? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.