3 Cats Away From Dying Alone

Just being adorable. No big deal.

Here’s how the 3 cat thing went down. I had one, Debra, then I fostered two week old kittens who were born in a flower pot in an alley on Hollywood and Highland. I fell in love with them, procrastinated bringing them back to the no kill shelter and now it’s 4 months later… and I have 3 cats. I should have returned the kittens 2 months ago… because now they are teenagers… and no one wants an adult cat. This is LA, snitches. The younger the better. Anyway, I love them. They are very sweet and make me happy. When I got them, I had a boyfriend who knew the sitch, so it was all good. And when he dumped my ass 3 months ago, the cats were a source of comfort. And because I was in bed all day everyday in the throws of depression, what the eff did it matter if I had 3 cats or no cats?

Well, I feel better now and I have noticed, on more than once occasion lately, that I didn’t feel comfortable inviting fellas over while I have 3 cats… not because they smelled or anything like that. I just can’t have boys over because I can’t have 3 cats. Society won’t let me. Why won’t society let me have 3 cats, you guys? Why won’t society let me have 2? People have 2 dogs and the world is all, “Whatever, you have 2 dogs, that’s coo, can I take you to dinner?” But own even ONE cat and you’re a “cat lady”.

Am I a “cat lady” because I’m single? Suppose I was married with a kid. Would owning 2 cats be alright then? How about if I were in law school? I only ask this because I only know of one other woman in LA who owns 3 cats. She’s in law school and has a hot boyfriend who has not been scared away by the cats. I asked my friend Gordon if were in law school would that offset the 3 cat ownership? “Yes,” he said. WTF, Gordo? “So if your job is crazy impressive, you can go to town with the cats?” “Yes,” he says. I hate everyone.

I mean, I know from Twitter that many many people feel embarrassment for owning a cat(s). Can we not anymore? Can we stop making self deprecating jokes about our cats and just sort of OWN our cats? OMGosh, this article just became a rally cry for cat people. I’m going to catch so much shiz.

PS – Please adopt my teenage cats.

Hi! We're Felix and Georgie. Want to adopt us so Brooke can find a boyfriend? You do!? Sweet. http://www.santedor.org/

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=500738478 Rachel Firmager

    I know! My bestie has 2 cats and a boyfriend and that’s all good, but after I got my ass dumped and got a kitten I’m seen in the same light as Bridget freakin’ Jones!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000096396007 Jessica Duhn Grabinoski

    Cats are a thousand times better than dogs! Single women catch hell for having them because they’re so human-like. People think you’re trying to replicate the feeling of caring for babies because of the whole old maid/dying alone thing. If you’re young, single, and having fun, I don’t see why anyone should have a problem with it. And just so you know, my husband and I have 3 cats. We BOTH enjoy their company. Some men love cats, and don’t worry, they’re perfectly normal men. I wouldn’t trust a guy who couldn’t love a cat. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=562950036 Lisa Tiedemann

    Who cares that you have three cats? “Society” can go take a hike. Wait for a guy that understands you, three cats and all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/AlyssaJeane Alyssa Kuglin

    I live with my parents who have two cats and I have one, so technically I have 3 cats myself. I have been single forever, but it isn’t because of my cats…or maybe it is and I am in denial because of my love for them… I literally have my job on Facebook listed as “crazy cat lady in training” and my employer is my cat…maybe that’s what’s keeping potential suitors away.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rsswatzel Ryan N Stephanie Swatzel

    Up until recently I had four, my mother-in-law adopted “Pumpkin,” the youngest (baby rescue also – 4 1/2 years ago, might I add), the second to youngest is “Turkey.” He only has three legs and is the sweetest cat you have ever come across. Mo oldest is “Satan” (affectionately referred to as “Babies”), he is 14 and jealous of my now one-year-old son. He is also at the end of the road so we may put him down soon. Then there is “Bea.” She is the queen of the house, she rules the roost, and even puts “Hobo,” the homeless dog – who now has an amazing home, in check. My point in all of this….cats have moved with me from Southern Cali, to Wisconsin, to Arkansas. I have always worn my cat owner “badge” with pride and figured “eff them if they have a problem with it!” If you love your cats, then tell people proudly that you do and if they have a problem with it and decide to go away, well then it saves you the trouble of dealing with their judgment later on in the “friendship” or “relationship,” anyways. The stigma of cat ownership stems from people’s embarrassment. We make this our own taboo by not admitting we are cat owners. Say it loud, say it proud!

    P.S. You can distinguish a cat lady from a cat owner by the smell of their house and the condition of their belongings. If the cats run the house, then you are a cat lady. If the cats are part of the home and family and know their rules and boundaries, then you are a cat owner – like me! :-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/rsswatzel Ryan N Stephanie Swatzel

    Did I mention that I have also always been upfront with guys about my cats and never had a problem with it. I now have a wonderful husband and we have a beautiful son together! And wouldn’t you know it? He has grown to love the cats just as much as I do, and his Mom even adopted one herself!

  • http://www.facebook.com/laurenscharf Lauren Leigh Scharf

    Currently one of my roommates is allergic, but after our lease is up in 4 mo i will SO take one of your adult cats! There is absolutely nothing wrong with cats. They’re cleaner than dogs in my opinion so 3 cats= less smelly apartment than 3 dogs. I’m sure there’s a guy out there somewhere that agrees.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1293427074 Jenny Garcia

    By trying to make light of being a cat lady it’s the cat ladies who keep the cat lady thing alive. Embrace the cats and don’t have any shame!! Yell it from the roof tops! “I have 3 cats bitches!! And I’m awesome!!” The end of the cat lady stereotype starts with the cat ladies themselves! PUSSY POWER!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/lisrmiller Elisabeth Miller

      Amen! What a great comment!

  • http://www.facebook.com/kimberlymmh Kimberly Hawkins

    Owning a cat, to me, says that you are a single lady who is happening and so busy that she doesn’t have the time it requires to take care of a dog. Cats are a low maintenance source of companionship for busy people who don’t like coming home to a completely silent home. Nothing wrong with that at all. I owned a 3-legged cat for a while, and nearly every guy I have dated has owned a cat. No shame.

  • http://www.facebook.com/breanne.miller Breanne Miller

    Keep your cats and love them dearly! Any guy that is worth your time will accept you, cats or no cats (although, as irony would have it, my boyfriend is allergic to cats :( Don’t let society change your life or your happiness levels. Love your cats, live your life, and eventually someone will come along that wants to share it with you, cats and all :) Oh, and my parents have 2 cats and 1 dog!

  • http://www.facebook.com/blueevey Evelyn Sue Sandoval

    and this is why it’s okay that i’m going to end up a crazy cat lady! (I can’t have pets now, altho my cat is at home w my mother) and proud of it!

  • http://www.facebook.com/rsswatzel Ryan N Stephanie Swatzel

    For those with allergies (as I have them myself but cannot bear not to have a couple kitties roaming around), I say”go buy some damned Claritin!” It works, and after a couple weeks you will get used to the cats and move on.

  • http://www.facebook.com/wackyfacedme Angel Fernandez

    If my mom’s not allergic to cats, I’d prolly have four.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1169280960 Brittany Anne

    I have two cats, and a husband. My husband is more of a crazy cat lady than I am, so it’s all good. Cat’s are so much easier than dogs to care for. And they’re smarter. =]

  • http://www.facebook.com/georgiakl Georgia Leaker

    lol i also have 3 cats. see i got one (semmi) and then my sister wanted one and then we got the second (pepsi) and unfortunately pespi died after 3 yrs (v sad) and then we got billy and then billy ran away when he was 5 and sister was SO devo so dad picked her up another cat (ringo) from the shelter and she loved him and THEN billy came home like 2 weeks after we got ringo and now we have 3 cats. i am also single. and a cat lady. is ok! we make club!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=571440065 Bethany Bellows Tranby

    I have to wonderful, funny, freaking adorable cats, which I got when I was single. Now I have a hubby who had a cat of his own! SOULMATES! HA! Seriously though, he didn’t care at all about my 2 cats and now we have a blended family and I always have cat hair on my work clothes. Perfection.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=576487344 Jacqueline Kepple

    I think I take the cake b/c my husband and I have FOUR cats. It was a similar situation – we had two, one died, so we rescued one from death row, then got coaxed into “fostering” two kittens who were sisters and now we’re attached. Oh well! I love them, and they are cuties. And I feel good about saving them from other (way worse) fates.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lisrmiller Elisabeth Miller

    I think that the answer is to OWN being someone who has cats. I often find myself explaining that “I’m not a crazy cat lady” when I should really just say “I have two cats.” The end.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ummwhat Tamara Bennett

    ummm I have FOUR cats. FOUR. it wasn’t intentional though. It started off with just one, my tortie named Beans. I had only her for a couple years and a couple boyfriends. Then my (now) and I got together and just in time for us to get married, one of our close friends had kittens and they said we could have one. So of course I couldn’t decide which one I wanted so we had to take two, Dos (because she looked just like her mom) and Master Chief (after the character in Halo because he has a halo on his head). Ok, three cats is a lot. It’s a lot of food and a lot of poop and a lot of space-taking-uppedness on the bed. But THEN my friend Nate found the tiniest, SKINNIEST, youngest little baby kitty I’ve ever seen under his care and had nowhere else to take it. I’m talking SKINNY SKINNY SKINNY. Like you could pick her up by her spine if you wanted to, so damn skinny. And he lives in a house with allergic people so he posted on FB about the kitten. No one else could take her so I told him to bring her to me and I would nurse her back to health and then find a home for her. Yeah right. That’s how we got Awesom-O, AKA Mo the little dilute tortie who is scared of EVERYTHING, including pillows, coughing, people looking in her general direction. But I love them all. And luckily my husband loves me enough that he tolerates my “crazy cat lady” tendencies. And even though I’ve been married for about a year and a half now, I still get the cat lady jokes. I decided to embrace the jokes and even named my jewelry company CCL Designs. :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/ummwhat Tamara Bennett

      (now) husband*

  • http://www.facebook.com/ummwhat Tamara Bennett

    and car* not care. I haven’t had enough coffee yet today. Or too much. Who knows.

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