2 Gays G-Chat About Gay Marriage

Yesterday, President Obama came out in full support of gay marriage, and my good friend Steven and I g-chatted about our thoughts on gay marriage, President Obama, the past and hopeful future of the United States, and Joe Manganiello.  Here is what we had to say:

Steven: When you were younger did you envision yourself getting married?

Edward: Yes! Absolutely! Not like in a dress or anything, but definitely getting married and having a HUSBAND

Steven: I always pictured myself growing up and having a wife and children

Edward: That’s so hetero-normative of you! I love that! And life took you in a slightly different direction, right?

Steven: Well, I did get married obvs and have children, then came out after all that, so not quite typical but absolutely not abnormal either, or at least not talked about much

Edward: Yeah you are definitely unique in that regard

Steven: But like really how unique is my situation? It’s just we don’t hear about it often

Edward: How does it make you feel now that President Obama has come out in full support of gay marriage?

Steven: I think it’s about time. I feel like he was probably for it the whole time, but politically it was not a good move for him to say so

Edward: I agree!  It’s like in high school, when you are secretly friends with a really, deeply unhip, socially ostracized person and then you “come out” as being friends with that person, and you’re all, “This is MY FRIEND, and I love him/her! And I don’t care if this is social suicide! Suck it!”  But then prior to all that-you might have been mean to that person in the hallway or been a bitch to them in Spanish class or something, not speaking from personal experience or anything

Steven: Of course

Edward: But once you “come out” as being in favor of that person, it’s like you are so much more enlightened and a better person for it

Steven: So now that Obama is in favor of gay marriage how likely do you think this change anything? I mean the day after North Carolina

Edward: Well-Obama is the leader of our country, and as the leader-he sets the tone of our national voice and consciousness, and I think seeing that President Obama-who is a HIGHLY intelligent, educated, worldly, fair-minded man is in favor of gay marriage-that might influence some people who were previously on the fence. I hope so at least.
What do you think will happen? How did the whole North Carolina thing make you feel as a gay man in the 21st century?

Steven: I think it is an important declaration on his part and I think people who voted for him last time will now feel better about voting for him again in regards to this issue. I am not sure how much it will really change though. At least not this soon. It’ll be interesting to see what happens during the debates and election. I have only been in North Carolina twice and both times were in bigger cities on the coast. I have heard many people talking about rural western North Carolina and what they call the ‘Deep South’ are not ready for it.

Edward: Right.

Steven: Personally, I think having a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage is a travesty

Edward: I mean-historically, a lot of ignorant, bigoted people weren’t “ready” for the integration of public schools among African American and Caucasian children in the U.S.-so I think they need to adjust themselves

Steven: Exactly. I love the thought that people always bring up…’In a few years we’ll look back and think, ‘boy were we stupid.’

Edward: Denying people civil rights based on bigotry and hypocritical ignorance is hurtful and illogical-obviously I agree with you.  This cultural, sexual orientation-apartheid really needs to be broken.  And I have to say-I am very, very proud to be an American. My cousin serves in the military, and I have always been taught to revere and respect the United States-as a land of opportunity and freedom, so it’s just a little ironic

Steven: Like rain on your wedding day?

Edward: LOL, Well, it’s ironic that, I, Edward Hansen, who loves the United States so much-am denied certain freedoms by people who think that the bible has dictated this to them.  The good news is-I feel in my heart and soul that gay marriage will be legal-just the same way that integration and civil rights were historically made priorities in the U.S.

Steven: That is precisely the reason I have a hard time with the church

Edward: Yeah! I love that all these “religious” people care so much about gay marriage.  Well, I for one, am definitely NOT inviting them to my wedding!

Steven: I agree with you, and I also feel so fortunate to have been born in the United States and be awarded all these privileges

Edward: Even though it’s not here yet-and gay marriage is on a state by state basis-I feel confident that someday – I will be able to legally get married here in California.  In fact, since I am so confident in the overarching good of the American people-I already know that I am going to have a very fun “themed” wedding.

Steven: A themed wedding?

Edward: Yeah! Like I might have an Aaliyah-themed wedding-like dress as your favorite “Aaliyah video,” or like a “Clue” themed wedding-like we could have it in a big mansion and we could all dress up as “Clue” characters-that could be fun!

Steven: Or not.

Edward: How would you do your wedding?

Steven: I don’t know if I will ever get married again.  If you asked me right now-my immediate answer is no.  And it has nothing to do with all that celeb-talk about waiting to get married until everyone can get married…hello brangelinawho coincidentally just got engaged

Edward: Yeah “yawn”.  Actually, I feel like maybe I want to get married a few times

Steven: Haha, Liz Taylor

Edward: I feel like maybe I’ll be like Elizabeth Taylor.  OMG! Jinx you owe me a coke! I mean if I gain the freedom to get married-I certainly want the freedom to get divorced.  Where would Britney spears be if it weren’t for divorce?  She’d still be a Federline.  SCARY right?

Steven: Aw poor Britney.  Even though I don’t want to get married, I am very much in favor of anyone that loves each other should be allowed to marry. Divorce is not as easy as marriage.  I just don’t know if I need to get married.

Edward: That’s so GOLDIE HAWN of you. Well, all we need to do is find a Kurt Russell and call it a day!  For me-I think I definitely want to get married.  First of all, I want a super gaudy huge man-diamond-in platinum obviously.  And I want to have a really delicious dinner on a rooftop terrace overlooking the downtown L.A. or Beverly Hills skyline-something very low-key like that.

Steven: So low key.  I love weddings and love going to them.  Your wedding is going to be so amazing and classy

Edward: OMG I’m listening to “I DECIDED” to Solange Knowles” right now-which would be a perfect wedding song.  In fact, I think I may want to walk down the aisle to that-in a Tom Ford Tux obvi.  Also, how fresh would it be if Cece Peniston came to sing at my wedding, like “Finally” would be my first dance hahaha

Steven: Fresh to death.  I think about my wedding song often, cause it’s one of my fave Fleetwood Mac songs and can’t imagine a new wedding song.

Edward: I love that Fleetwood Mac was your wedding song-you’re such a sensitive songstress

Steven: I know-I’m such a Christine McVie

Edward: LOL-did you wear a cape?

Steven: Oh god no-I wore a black tux with a tie-very simple, very classic

Edward: And how about all those states that are voting to have a constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and woman? I wish those states could find a CLUE

Steven: Seriously.

Edward: Should I write a constitutional amendment called-“This state should get a CLUE about gay marriage from hence forward,” obviously the hence makes it more official

Steven: I mean gay people are not going anywhere and we deserve all the same rights as everyone else

Edward: AGREED. We been around since ancient times, and we ain’t goin’ nowhere.  We here, we queer, and we ain’t goin’ A-N-Y-WHERE.

Steven: So maybe Obama saying he is in favor of gay marriage is the thing that will set the ball really rolling

Edward: Yup! That’s what I’m hoping!  As an American Man-I am ready for the same civil liberties as everyone else.  Let Obama set the precedent.  Also, one of my favorite things he said in his interview was-Sasha and Malia have friends whose parents are same sex couples, and it would never occur to them that their friends’ parents deserve any less.  I just love Sasha and Maliah so much.  And Michelle has always been a firm supporter of gay rights, and she is the most educated first lady in history (I think) so I feel like she’s coming from an informed, intelligent, and HUMAN place

Steven: It’s like my kids will never know the the world without having a black president, I hope they grow up in a world where their father can get married anywhere in the country he lives in, and I hope the same for anyone else

Edward: Exactly-it’s all about the youth. OMG STEVEN!!!

Steven: What!?

Edward: Joe Manganiello just walked into the coffee shop I’m working in.  Imagine if Joe Manganiello asked me to marry him?! But then I was like-“Sorry Joe Manganiello – we can’t get married because gay marriage is illegal.”  Clearly, it’s a hypothetical because he’s not gay

Steven: No he isn’t

Edward: But this is my fantasy and I’m allowed to make whomever gay that I want.  The point is-if Joe Manganiello asks you to marry him, whether gay or straight-you say yes and you should have the civil liberties to say be able to say YES!
And with that-I think I must be off

Steven: OK!  Say hi to Joe for me!

This post was written by both Ed Hansen & Steven Folkins.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=780983486 Casey Freeman
    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=780983486 Casey Freeman

      Sorry, I just read the comment policy and I realize that we aren’t supposed to link to other websites or blogs. This is not my blog I linked to, but I do hope you will read the article nonetheless.

  • http://www.facebook.com/TessTuxford Tess Matilda Tuxford

    ^^”How to deal with homosexuals”??? You’re kiding right? There is no need to “deal” with anyone! They have a right to be who they are and should have access to every right regardless of sexual orientation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ashgalindo Asha Galindo

    Hilary Rodham Clinton is probably the most educated flotus, but I still love Michelle Obama. Can we have favorite first ladies? Hilary, Michelle, and Eleanor Roosevelt come to mind.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ashgalindo Asha Galindo

      Ok, looked it up and they’re pretty equally educated. So, awesome. Amazing to have such powerful female influences in the white house. And glad for Michelle’s longtime support of the LGBTQ community.

  • http://www.facebook.com/matt.svoboda.9 Matt Svoboda


    I think you took the title wrong. The fact is we “deal” with all different types of people every day. That was not written in a derogatory way ir with ill intent.

    In fact, I made the title that to remind people that homosexuality isnt merely an “issue” to be dealt with with, but rather it is people that we are talking about. I did that to value the individual rather than letting people talk in the abstract about an “issue.” It is about people. All to often we talk past each other in the name of dealing with “the issue” when it is more personal than that.

    I hope that helps you understand the title better.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ramou.sarr Ramou Sarr

    First, I just went, “OH MY GAWD!” at the idea of coming out holding my hypothetical new husband’s hand to Cece Peniston’s Finally. Like, yes! Stealing that.
    I agree with pretty much all that you’ve said here. While it’s great that President Obama has come out in support of gay marriage, he still believes that states should get the vote – or at least this is what we’re to believe. That’s the thing, you know? It is largely a strategic move, but isn’t it great that publicly supporting gay marriage is a positive strategic move? I’m with you on hoping that this is the first step, and maybe later the President will say, “Nope. We don’t vote on civil rights in America. Sorry, states.” But as history has shown us, the fight for civil rights is an upsettingly slow process.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jessnovello Jessica Novello

    As a Christian, I want to apologize on behalf of how many of my fellow “believers” have treated you personally and the issue of gay marriage. Just know that there are so many of us who love you, accept you, and are also fighting for your right to be married! Not all Christians are against gay marriage, it may not seem like that with the whole NC thing and how many of those people claimed religion as the reasons for their votes. Just know that there are heaps of us who absolutely adore you and hate “constitutional” bans on love and freedom.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jocelynplease Jocelyn Dugan

    I just want everyone to remember that this country has freedom of religion. If we start making laws based on the Bible then we’d better start making laws out of the Torah and Koran etc. Amiright?

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