Yesterday, President Obama came out in full support of gay marriage, and my good friend Steven and I g-chatted about our thoughts on gay marriage, President Obama, the past and hopeful future of the United States, and Joe Manganiello. Here is what we had to say:
Steven: When you were younger did you envision yourself getting married?
Edward: Yes! Absolutely! Not like in a dress or anything, but definitely getting married and having a HUSBAND
Steven: I always pictured myself growing up and having a wife and children
Edward: That’s so hetero-normative of you! I love that! And life took you in a slightly different direction, right?
Steven: Well, I did get married obvs and have children, then came out after all that, so not quite typical but absolutely not abnormal either, or at least not talked about much
Edward: Yeah you are definitely unique in that regard
Steven: But like really how unique is my situation? It’s just we don’t hear about it often
Edward: How does it make you feel now that President Obama has come out in full support of gay marriage?
Steven: I think it’s about time. I feel like he was probably for it the whole time, but politically it was not a good move for him to say so
Edward: I agree! It’s like in high school, when you are secretly friends with a really, deeply unhip, socially ostracized person and then you “come out” as being friends with that person, and you’re all, “This is MY FRIEND, and I love him/her! And I don’t care if this is social suicide! Suck it!” But then prior to all that-you might have been mean to that person in the hallway or been a bitch to them in Spanish class or something, not speaking from personal experience or anything
Steven: Of course
Edward: But once you “come out” as being in favor of that person, it’s like you are so much more enlightened and a better person for it
Steven: So now that Obama is in favor of gay marriage how likely do you think this change anything? I mean the day after North Carolina
Edward: Well-Obama is the leader of our country, and as the leader-he sets the tone of our national voice and consciousness, and I think seeing that President Obama-who is a HIGHLY intelligent, educated, worldly, fair-minded man is in favor of gay marriage-that might influence some people who were previously on the fence. I hope so at least.
What do you think will happen? How did the whole North Carolina thing make you feel as a gay man in the 21st century?
Steven: I think it is an important declaration on his part and I think people who voted for him last time will now feel better about voting for him again in regards to this issue. I am not sure how much it will really change though. At least not this soon. It’ll be interesting to see what happens during the debates and election. I have only been in North Carolina twice and both times were in bigger cities on the coast. I have heard many people talking about rural western North Carolina and what they call the ‘Deep South’ are not ready for it.
Steven: Personally, I think having a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage is a travesty
Edward: I mean-historically, a lot of ignorant, bigoted people weren’t “ready” for the integration of public schools among African American and Caucasian children in the U.S.-so I think they need to adjust themselves
Steven: Exactly. I love the thought that people always bring up…’In a few years we’ll look back and think, ‘boy were we stupid.’
Edward: Denying people civil rights based on bigotry and hypocritical ignorance is hurtful and illogical-obviously I agree with you. This cultural, sexual orientation-apartheid really needs to be broken. And I have to say-I am very, very proud to be an American. My cousin serves in the military, and I have always been taught to revere and respect the United States-as a land of opportunity and freedom, so it’s just a little ironic
Steven: Like rain on your wedding day?
Edward: LOL, Well, it’s ironic that, I, Edward Hansen, who loves the United States so much-am denied certain freedoms by people who think that the bible has dictated this to them. The good news is-I feel in my heart and soul that gay marriage will be legal-just the same way that integration and civil rights were historically made priorities in the U.S.
Steven: That is precisely the reason I have a hard time with the church
Edward: Yeah! I love that all these “religious” people care so much about gay marriage. Well, I for one, am definitely NOT inviting them to my wedding!
Steven: I agree with you, and I also feel so fortunate to have been born in the United States and be awarded all these privileges
Edward: Even though it’s not here yet-and gay marriage is on a state by state basis-I feel confident that someday – I will be able to legally get married here in California. In fact, since I am so confident in the overarching good of the American people-I already know that I am going to have a very fun “themed” wedding.
Steven: A themed wedding?
Edward: Yeah! Like I might have an Aaliyah-themed wedding-like dress as your favorite “Aaliyah video,” or like a “Clue” themed wedding-like we could have it in a big mansion and we could all dress up as “Clue” characters-that could be fun!
Steven: Or not.
Edward: How would you do your wedding?
Steven: I don’t know if I will ever get married again. If you asked me right now-my immediate answer is no. And it has nothing to do with all that celeb-talk about waiting to get married until everyone can get married…hello brangelina–who coincidentally just got engaged
Edward: Yeah “yawn”. Actually, I feel like maybe I want to get married a few times
Steven: Haha, Liz Taylor
Edward: I feel like maybe I’ll be like Elizabeth Taylor. OMG! Jinx you owe me a coke! I mean if I gain the freedom to get married-I certainly want the freedom to get divorced. Where would Britney spears be if it weren’t for divorce? She’d still be a Federline. SCARY right?
Steven: Aw poor Britney. Even though I don’t want to get married, I am very much in favor of anyone that loves each other should be allowed to marry. Divorce is not as easy as marriage. I just don’t know if I need to get married.
Edward: That’s so GOLDIE HAWN of you. Well, all we need to do is find a Kurt Russell and call it a day! For me-I think I definitely want to get married. First of all, I want a super gaudy huge man-diamond-in platinum obviously. And I want to have a really delicious dinner on a rooftop terrace overlooking the downtown L.A. or Beverly Hills skyline-something very low-key like that.
Steven: So low key. I love weddings and love going to them. Your wedding is going to be so amazing and classy
Edward: OMG I’m listening to “I DECIDED” to Solange Knowles” right now-which would be a perfect wedding song. In fact, I think I may want to walk down the aisle to that-in a Tom Ford Tux obvi. Also, how fresh would it be if Cece Peniston came to sing at my wedding, like “Finally” would be my first dance hahaha
Steven: Fresh to death. I think about my wedding song often, cause it’s one of my fave Fleetwood Mac songs and can’t imagine a new wedding song.
Edward: I love that Fleetwood Mac was your wedding song-you’re such a sensitive songstress
Steven: I know-I’m such a Christine McVie
Edward: LOL-did you wear a cape?
Steven: Oh god no-I wore a black tux with a tie-very simple, very classic
Edward: And how about all those states that are voting to have a constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and woman? I wish those states could find a CLUE
Edward: Should I write a constitutional amendment called-“This state should get a CLUE about gay marriage from hence forward,” obviously the hence makes it more official
Steven: I mean gay people are not going anywhere and we deserve all the same rights as everyone else
Edward: AGREED. We been around since ancient times, and we ain’t goin’ nowhere. We here, we queer, and we ain’t goin’ A-N-Y-WHERE.
Steven: So maybe Obama saying he is in favor of gay marriage is the thing that will set the ball really rolling
Edward: Yup! That’s what I’m hoping! As an American Man-I am ready for the same civil liberties as everyone else. Let Obama set the precedent. Also, one of my favorite things he said in his interview was-Sasha and Malia have friends whose parents are same sex couples, and it would never occur to them that their friends’ parents deserve any less. I just love Sasha and Maliah so much. And Michelle has always been a firm supporter of gay rights, and she is the most educated first lady in history (I think) so I feel like she’s coming from an informed, intelligent, and HUMAN place
Steven: It’s like my kids will never know the the world without having a black president, I hope they grow up in a world where their father can get married anywhere in the country he lives in, and I hope the same for anyone else
Edward: Exactly-it’s all about the youth. OMG STEVEN!!!
Edward: Joe Manganiello just walked into the coffee shop I’m working in. Imagine if Joe Manganiello asked me to marry him?! But then I was like-“Sorry Joe Manganiello – we can’t get married because gay marriage is illegal.” Clearly, it’s a hypothetical because he’s not gay
Steven: No he isn’t
Edward: But this is my fantasy and I’m allowed to make whomever gay that I want. The point is-if Joe Manganiello asks you to marry him, whether gay or straight-you say yes and you should have the civil liberties to say be able to say YES!
And with that-I think I must be off
Steven: OK! Say hi to Joe for me!
This post was written by both Ed Hansen & Steven Folkins.