I’m an emotional person. But weirdly so. Like when my now fiancée proposed to me a couple years ago, I calmly replied, “Yeah okay, sure, let’s do that.” But when I watched the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead, I sobbed all my makeup off and cried, “whyyyyyyyy Governor whyyyyyy must you do this to me? To us?” I think we all have emotional triggers, and some of us are more vocal about them than others, which is perfectly okay! Let it all out! Even if it’s in public, like when:
1. You find out your ex is getting married
Even if it’s been years since you saw his deceitful face, you still don’t want him to find true love before you do. After all, you shared something incredible with him, and to be the one who is left single to die alone while he’s happy with someone else for eternity is just not okay (You are not going to die alone. You are wonderful. You will be okay).
2. Your friend tells you she’s making more money than you
The economy is still kind of crappy, so it’s normal to be in between jobs, or stuck in a position where the pay is less than ideal. When a friend suddenly calls and lets you know she either got a new job or a promotion and then proceeds to fill you in on how much money she’s making, you are allowed to be upset. That kind of over-share is kind of inconsiderate, am I right?
3. A major character dies off on your favorite TV show **GoT spoiler ahead**
Let’s not talk about Eddard Stark from GoT, Nate Fisher from Six Feet Under, or pretty much any major character you have grown to love over the seasons. Well, in GoT, it was only one before Eddard was decapitated but still. I cried, feeling for the Stark girls and their fatherless fate. It’s okay when TV makes you cry. That’s what makes it evocative.
4. Chipotle is closed but you really want a burrito
After a long night of studying, working out, or just catching up on your shows, it would be super nice for a big burrito filled with cilantro-lime rice, beans, and that monster scoop of guacamole they always hook you up with! TOO BAD CHIPOTLE (or pretty much any other restaurant) IS NOT 24/7. Is there a support group for this dilemma? Because there should be.
5. Your favorite jeans rip or don’t fit you anymore
Whenever this happens, I always yell, “did you know how long it took me to find you? How much time and money for our paths to cross?” As though my pants are going to reply, “sorry Gina, we had a good thing going though, huh?” Good jeans are ridiculously hard to find. If something happens to yours, you have every right to sob.
6. Your laptop malfunctions
Have I burst into tears after a laptop shut down without saving an important document? Absolutely. The amount of faith I put into my laptop is stupid, because it’s bound to deceive me at one point or another. Also, do you remember when Gmail was broken for like an hour? Totally a legitimate reason to cry. Everything is in my Gmail account.
7. You accidentally throw your phone into a pool
Phones love skinny-dipping, apparently. This has happened to me at least three times. I now I have this epic phone case which shields it from any and all kinds of destruction.
8. You get into a fight with your bestie
Feuding with friends is the absolute worst, especially if no one wants to admit fault. And who does, really?
9. You get a speeding ticket
I always seem get a speeding ticket when other parts of my life are falling apart. Like, I don’t know if it’s just fate LOLing at me, or me being unable to drive properly under times of stress. The last thing we need in our lives is a $300 dollar speeding ticket, which is really steep and melodramatic, if you ask me.
10. You fail a test
We’ve all been there. After spending hours upon grueling hours studying for a sociology test, we receive our Scantrons back, only to discover the top number is WAY smaller than the bottom number of the fraction. Multiple choice tests are satanic. Who invented those, anyway?
11. You’re really, really tired
These days, nothing will make me sob harder than a day that just will NOT end.
12. Customer service is inexplicably mean to you
All I wanted was to know why my Internet went AWOL, I mean, a girl has got to know these things. No need to sass me; my world is already frazzled.
13. Customers are inexplicably mean to you
I’ve had a woman scream at me at a restaurant because her mashed potatoes were too salty and I’ve also been called “girl” in a non-ironic, antagonistic way. I have a name, guys! Working in retail or the restaurant business really exposes you to some of the most evil people there are. It’s perfectly normal to have a good cry in the employee bathroom stall.
14. You have cramps
I tolerate pain super well, but sometimes my cramps are unbelievable. Is this what giving birth feels like? Should I be experiencing shooting pains in my abdomen like that? I don’t even understand the biological reasoning for such unacceptable pain.
15. You get a really horrible hair cut
Those super short bangs were definitely not what you meant when you said, “I want hair like Zooey Deschanel’s” to your hairdresser. Now, you are stuck with that hairstyle for at least three weeks. I feel like friends make it even worse when they suggest you just wear a hat. But you don’t want to wear a hat! You just want to look like Zooey!
16. You read the news
The news is depressing because our world is actually a really scary, violent place. I consider myself an optimist, but sometimes when I scroll through Yahoo News or watch CNN, I become way disappointed with humanity and have to watch Adventure Time for awhile.
17. You hear “Stay” by Rihanna
That song is so beautiful, it hurts.
18. You read a really sad book like The Year of Magical Thinking, Atonement, The Fault in our Stars, The Lovely Bones, and Bastard out of Carolina (just to name a few, in case you’re in the mood for a good cry)
A sad book will get me every single time.