Hello again, Emoji lovers! Last we spoke, I was pleased to discover that you all love these little text stickers as much as I do. You gave me some awesome Emoji suggestions and insights, which I am forever thankful for. But I got to thinking: there’s really NOT an Emoji for every occasion. We’re missing a few.
Sure, I love getting creative with Emojis. But sometimes, I have to get a little too creative. I’ll say it: the Emoji library is incomplete. There are TWO calendars to choose from, one tear away and one desktop, but no sandwich?! I understand that Emojis were created in Japan, so my emoticon needs may be different from the emoticon needs in other parts of the world. And I know, beggars can’t be choosers, but I think the app is due for a few updates. It’s time for some new Emojis! I’ll even draw them myself. Just kidding, you guys don’t want that.
Here are the Emojis I think need to be added to the repertoire. And, if you still don’t have Emojis yet – seriously, download the app!
I substitute the horse for a unicorn, and add the sparkle. Most of my regular people know what I mean, but sometimes I accidentally send the sparkling horse to somebody new, and then have to backtrack and explain that the horse is meant to represent majestic awesomeness. If we live in a phone where there are not one but TWO Emoji dragons, there can be one nice, fluffy unicorn.
The loaf of bread just doesn’t cut it, and the hamburger isn’t the same. How will my friends know I want to go to Subway?
Again, I understand there’s probably not much use for a menorah in Japan. But since Emojis have become such a hit in America, it would be nice if the next update included a more well-rounded library of holiday items.
4. More racial representation
Speaking of well-roundedness, let’s talk about the serious lack of Emoji race representation. There’s one person with dark skin, and they’re wearing a turban. While we’re asking for things, I would also like a nondescript blonde. Whenever I reference my blonde friends Emilee or Annie, I have to use the angel, which is total crap, and they know it.
I’m trying to save Nev and Max some time with this one. People who meet online could send the catfish Emoji and be all like “Are you [catfish]ing me? lol” but then we’ll probably see them on the show in six months anyway.
6. Magic wand
The crystal ball just doesn’t cut it for me. This one would be good for any and all Harry Potter and/or Arrested Development texts/quote-offs.
Cake, cookie, doughnut, flan?, ice cream, chocolate bar and what are potentially dessert kebabs, but no cupcake. You are America’s trendiest dessert, but you are not in the running to become Japan’s next top Emoji. Please pack your knives and go.
Because whether you’re happy, sad, scared, excited or confused, a T-rex Emoji would be an appropriate response.
9. Smiley wearing the classic disguise mask with the glasses, mustache and big nose
Emoticon? Is that you? Nope, just a man with a mustache wearing glasses! ::giggles::
10. Sexy time
There are a few ways to say you’re excited for later, but none of them are quite right. The kissy smileys are too expected, the people kissing are gross, the whale blowing water is funny, the rain droplets are too aggressive. We need something between the lipstick kiss and the purple devil that says, “I can’t wait to see you later.” But what?!
11. Middle finger
Emoji fingers point every which way. What’s one more?
12. Something hockey-related
Football, basketball, baseball, soccer, tennis, rugby, golf, biking (mountain AND road), horse racing, skiing, snowboarding, swimming, surfing, fishing, race car driving, darts, dice, billiards, bowling. And not even a hockey puck.
What am I supposed to mass text people on Thanksgiving? An acorn? Ooh, maybe the ship and the top hat. Somebody remind me of that one in November.
What Emojis are you missing? Maybe we can get a HelloGiggles expansion pack made!