100 Important Things To Know About Season 1 of ‘Downton Abbey’
by Kate Spencer
Downton Abbey has replaced Breaking Bad, The Wire and Mad Men as the show people are appalled to learn you aren’t watching. Surely someone in your life has gotten way up in your personal space and shouted with disgust, “You haven’t seen Downton Abbey yet? HOW have you not seen Downton Abbey yet?!” And while I too am shocked – in a loving way, of course – that you haven’t seen it, never fear! The second season is about to start on PBS this Sunday, January 8th and you can watch the entire first season on their site or on Netflix Streaming. But if you don’t have the time to devote to the GREATEST SHOW EVER MADE OMG, I am here to help you out.
I’ll be recapping Season 2 here on Hello Giggles, and I’ve got the 100 Most Important Things to Know About Season 1 of Downton Abbey below to help you catch up. Even if you’re a Downton addict, my list will surely reignite your love for the show with a passion stronger than that with which Edith hates Mary. And we all know Edith hates Mary. A LOT.
Let’s get down(ton) to business! [Yep, I went there.]
1. Downton Abbey is a really big house in the British countryside.
2. It is filled with servants.
3. Mr. Carson is the Santa-shaped butler who loves his job. He was once the George Clooney of vaudeville but he’s ashamed of his performing past so it’s best just to act like you don’t know anything.
4. Mrs. Hughes is the housekeeper who chose her work over getting back together with an ex.
5. Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes should totally GET IT ON, if only because they share the same bond of loving their jobs over everything else in their lives. That’s something, right?
6. Downton Abbey is also filled with the aristocratic Crawley Family.
7. Mrs. Cora Crawley is American and comes from a family with a butt-load of money. She talks with an accent that can only be described as “Edwardian Madonna”.
8. Mr. Crawley married her for her cash but then they fell in love after they wed, which is something that never really happens, so good for them!
9. Her Ladyship (Mrs. Crawley) knows this, but she’s cool with it. She’s OG like that.
10. Downton Abbey has been in His Lordship’s (Mr. Crawley) family for a bajillion years.
11. The house and the inheritance is tied up in an entail that must go the Mr. Crawley’s next male heir.
12. The Crawleys have three daughters. Oops.
13. Mary is the oldest and is good at moping and being beautiful. All the men folk love her. She suffers from that thing rich kids get where they’re unhappy and unfulfilled because they’ve never had to work for anything and thus have no sense of self.
14. Edith is the middle daughter and bears a striking resemblance to George Washington. She is the Jan Brady to Mary’s Marcia.
15. Sybil is the youngest daughter in the family. She has a brain that she uses to form opinions about things like the suffragette movement and women’s right to wear pants.
16. Mary was engaged to Patrick, the son of her father’s first cousin.
17. Patrick was the male heir to Downton and its fortune.
18. Patrick died on the Titanic, along with his father.
19. =(
20. Mary wasn’t in love with Patrick, so she’s kind of relieved that she’s now free from that ish.
21. She’s like so not into mourning fashion, either.
22. Edith was in love with Patrick and his death devastates her.
23. Did we mention Edith hates Mary? Like, a lot.
24. Patrick’s death means the inheritance and the house now go to a third cousin, Mr. Matthew Crawley.
25. This news freaks everyone out, including their devoted servant army, because they’re all like, “Who the eff is this Matthew guy and what is he going to do to our giant house?”
26. His Lordship’s mother, the Dowager Countess, comes in to regulate the situation.
27. She is an HBIC who wears a cloak like nobody’s business.
28. During this time his Lordship also acquires a new valet named Mr. Bates.
29. A valet is pretty much like a personal assistant, but old school style. They help you get your clothes on and refresh the biscuit jar beside your bed and listen to you complain about your obscenely privileged life.
30. Also British peeps pronounce valet with a hard “t”. Who knew?
31. Despite being kinda pudgy and old, Mr. Bates is way handsome and lovely and sweet and quiet and humble and did I mention I love Mr. Bates?
32. Mr. Bates is also crippled from the African War (I think this is the Boer War? Historians? Anyone?) and walks with a cane. But don’t let it get you down – he doesn’t.
33. Except for that one episode, where he tries to fix it by wearing a painful contraption that slices into his sweet, pasty British skin.
34. MOVING ON…
35. Thomas, the smoldering, sexy footman, wanted that valet position.
36. He goes out of his way to destroy Mr. Bates’ reputation around the estate.
37. (He also has an affair with the Duke of Crowborough, who visits Downton to court Mary. Smexy!)
38. He does this with the help of O’Brien, Mrs. Crawley’s maid and resident crazy lady with weird sideburns.
39. They try to frame him as a thief a couple of times, but Bates manages to foil their plans with the help of Anna, the hot head house maid.
40. Anna loves Mr. Bates.
41. Mr. Bates loves Anna.
42. Mr. Bates is also a recovering alcoholic with a wife and a PAST, and he carries a lot of shame about this. Poor guy.
43. Anna shares a room with Gwen, a maid who secretly teaches herself to type.
44. She eventually lands a secretary gig with Sybil’s help. Girl power, 1916 style!
45. Sybil is all about rejecting aristocracy and giving the finger to the class system. Badass.
46. She’s also all about the family chauffeur, Bronson, who is a politically active hunk.
47. Meanwhile, Mary is mostly obsessed with moping and men.
48. She takes a lover, a Turkish dignitary with killer hair named Mr. Pamuk, who visits Downton with his friend Mr. Napier, who is courting Mary.
49. After much flirting, Mr. Pamuk sneaks into Mary’s room with the help of Thomas the footman.
50. At first Mary is all “OMG!” but then she’s like “Let’s bone” and so they do.
51. Mr. Pamuk dies mid-coitus, which should terrify attractive men around the world into never having sex again.
52. Mary panics and enlists her mother’s help in moving the body.
53. Daisy, the adorable kitchen maid with a knack for doing stupid things, witnesses this and eventually spills the secret to Edith.
54. Daisy gets a lot of crap from her ginger doughnut of a boss, the cook Mrs. Patmore.
55. Mrs. Patmore is going blind and Mr. Crawley pays for her to get her eyes fixed. Whatta guy!
56. William, they other footman, is a sweet sad little man who is very obviously in love with Daisy. His mom also dies and it is sad.
57. Meanwhile, Edith still HATES Mary.
58. Angry over Mary’s attempt to botch her romance with Sir Anthony Strallan, a stuffy old, Edith sends a letter to the Turkish embassy detailing Mary’s involvement with Mr. Pamuk’s lust-filled demise.
59. Gossip spreads and no reputable men want to court Mary.
60. That is – except Cousin Matthew, who falls for the pouty sister over months of flirty dinner conversation.
61. He moves to the village to be closer to Downton and is a regular guest at the house, along with his mother, Isobel.
62. They both have a hard time adjusting to a life of excess and and reject the absurd privileges that accompany such wealth, because they are cool like that.
63. Isobel and the Dowager Countess get into it over things like who should win the local flower show and how the town’s hospital is run.
64. Old ladies, amirite?
65. Matthew eventually proposes to Mary after one hot and heavy make out session.
66. Mary, being her usual wishy-washy self, is indecisive in her answer.
67. Her Aunt Rosamund pushes her to delay her decision, determined she can do “better”.
68. But really, what could be better than a quick-witted dough-faced cousin with baby blue eyes who is genuinely in love with you?
69. Mary’s inability to decide infuriates the old ladies of the house, who just want all that entail drama resolved like whoa.
70. But suddenly, a possible answer to their prayers arrives via Lady Grantham’s womb, which finds itself home to a fetus!
71. This is great news! Everyone loves babies! Problem solved (maybe)!
72. Lady Mary is still torn about what to tell Matthew, after every member of her family with a vagina weighs in with their opinion.
73. Cousin Matthew believes Lady G’s pregnancy to be the reason for Mary’s lack of an answer to his proposal.
74. Homeboy gets PISSED. We should note that Cousin Matthew looks extra HNGGG-worthy when fuming at Mary.
75. Meanwhile O’Brien mishears a conversation between Lady G and the Dowager Countess, who is searching for a new lady’s maid.
76. O’Brien gets the story wrong and believes her boss to be looking to fire her and hire a replacement.
77. O’Brien, because she is crazy, purposely drops a bar of soap outside Lady Grantham’s tub, causing her to fall and miscarry her child.
78. Seriously, O’Brien is f**king batshit nuts.
79. And (said in my best Seinfeld voice): What is with those sideburns?
80. O’Brien also loses her main ally, Thomas, who resigns from his footman posish to enlist in the Army Medial Corps.
81. Their plan to destroy Mr. Bates by revealing his past history of arrest for theft is thwarted by Anna. She visits with his mother and learns he was only covering for his crazy-ass wife, Vera, who committed the crime.
82. Seriously you guys, MR. BATES IS A DREAMBOAT.
83. Edith is about to finally experience happiness for the first time in her life after she learns Sir Anthony is set to propose to her at the family’s charity garden party.
84. But in a final act of sisterly bitch mania, Mary gets to him first and convinces him that Edith is not interested.
85. That’s what you get for f**king with Mary Crawley, Edith! Don’t hate the playa, hate the game. The game of sisters being horribly cruel to each other.
86. But heartache also comes Mary’s way as Matthew finally rejects her, mid-garden party.
87. She is wearing a most unfortunate looking hat when this goes down, as is always the case when getting dumped.
88. In the middle of all this insanity, Lord Grantham receives a telegram.
89. “We are at war with Germany!” he announces.
90. For those of you who are like, “What war with Germany?” – he means World War I.
91. Yes, Downton Abbey spans the length of two years in just seven episodes.
92. The time thing confused me too.
93. But we did learn one thing – garden parties are the perfect place for drama to go down.
94. Also, Downton Abbey got a telephone! So now Mary can call Matthew — oh wait. Er, Edith can ring — nope, that’s not gonna happen either. God, sisters are cruel to each other.
95. You can watch the first season of Downton Abbey on Netflix streaming or PBS.com.
96. The second season debuts on PBS on January 8th.
97. I’ll be recapping it here on Hello Giggles! Watch it and discuss it with me, won’t you?
98. If not I’ll go all O’Brien on you, and you don’t want to see me with sideburns.
99. Oh – and one more thing! No, the actors who play Mary and Matthew are not dating in real life.
100. It’s okay, I had hoped they were too.
See more posts from Kate
01.06.2012 |
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Hello Giggles + Downton Abbey = INTERNET EXPLOSION OF HAPPINESS AND RAINBOWS
Team Sybil! Anyone who likes Sybil less than her sisters is clearly unfit to marry!
My two new favorite things coming together made my week!! This show rules my life. September is so far away.
Ok first off, I always thought this show was called DowntoWn Abbey! Lol! Secondly, I tried watching the first episode on netflix, but I just couldn’t get into it. No worries, I’ll try again. And lastly, #50 made me LOL.
I only discovered Downtown Abbey last week while flipping channels.. I was immediately hooked! Thank God for reruns.. I can’t wait til sunday!
Downton* Abbey.. lol
Hilarious re-cap.
I love this series so flipping much! Also, I laughed out loud while reading your summary. Thank you for the good time!
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Wow! Ok, I will own up to having never heard of this show but I am SO gonna watch that! It sounds like Jane Austen on…I don’t tknow what, but thank you for introducing me to my newest obsession!
My mam watches is periodically (badum-bum-tch!) as it’s always on when other shows are on she wants to watch, so when it’s on I’ll often catch glimpses of it but I want to get proper into it and watch it from season 1. It’ll be confusing because, living in Ireland, I get to see all British TV shows as they come out, so we’ve already had season 2 (And they’re continuing it for another season!) and we’ve had a christmas special that was aired christmas day. But sure, gotta start somewhere
Love! I’m so glad the rest of the world has discovered Downton Abbey – can not wait for season two!
HOORAY! I thought I was the only person to watch this show!! My boyfriend watched it with me, but I was already a few episodes in so it was SO annoying to have to explain all the ins and outs…I’m going to send him a link to this recap and he will be caught up!! I loved #64…you ARE right!! Can’t wait to read your Season 2 recaps… I’m going to go set my DVR now!
Can I just say how perfect Maggie Smith is on this show? At the end of the day, the one-upping between her character and Isobel was probably my favorite part. I’m very excited for season 2 to start.
Awesome recap!! Really funny and it reminded me why I love it so much. Also Sybil is amazing!!!!!
After reading this, I cannot wait for your recaps! It is spot on (and hilarious) though I expect nothing less from Hello Giggles. I too share the Mr. Bates love! So hoping he finally gets together with Anna in season 2.
I love everything about this post and DA. I love Anna/Bate. And that hot political Irish chauffeur. I was sneaky and watched season 2. Just wait for it, y’all, it’s a doozie!
*Bates
Historian stepping in: yes – Mr. Bates fought in the Boer Wars.
omg love this, you, and downton abbey. so flipping excited!
Awh, guys ,you are going to love series two! ‘Specially if you love Bates x
I keep meaning to watch this on Netflix and haven’t gotten around to it, but after this awesome recap, it is happening TODAY!
I’m watching this on Netflix right now and I absolutely love it! And Mr. Bates is so sweet. I totally get it now!
How come PBS is obsessed with the Brits? Is it because they’re classier than Americans? Probably… definitely…
Just started watching it on Netflix- LOVING it so far! But I read too far ahead and spoiled it.
I so needed these recaps since I keep skipping episodes. Thanks HG! Can’t wait for Season 2…
OMG this is great!!! I’ve seen Season 2 already and I’ll be super happy to revive it with your recaps!! So happy!!
Oh man me too! I just watched the last episode a couple days ago. Can’t wait to actually talk about it with people.
Best. Show. Ever.
Love this show! I too have seen Season 2 and the Christmas special already but I will happily relive it again. Oh, and minor point- the chauffeur is Branson, not Bronson.
As soon as I saw that this was streaming on netflix (aka read 5 lines into this article), I clicked out of HG and watched the entire first season in one sitting. Thanks for enabling my TV obsession!
Maggie Smith is made of so much win. I love her and her character. She gets all the best lines. “What is a week-end?” I also love Matthew. Mary is an idiot. Matthew Crawley is a dream. I need one of my own!
Okay your whole thing with Pamuk was funny. “Let’s bone,” and they did. Hilarious. Now I have to go find Matthew stewing, because you intrigued me to see the extra drool-worthy performance.
Just started watching today and already 4 hours and 4 episodes have passed in a blink. I LOVE MR.BATES!!
Most FAVORITE show. Started as a mother-daughter special bonding ritual, like when we used to watch The Gilmore Girls, and now the whole family is hooked (including extended family). MUST WATCH, BIDDIES. Great article!
LOve this show.I can’t stop talking about it. Ps- you must give the show a try at leat until third episode. everything happens in the third episode.
I LOVE THIS SHOW! I’m going over to my bff’s place to watch it tonight. Freaking nerds, we are.
I just started watching it on Netflix today based off of your article! The whole time I’m like: Yes! Mary IS mopey and SO not into mourning fashion! OMG Mr. Bates IS so sweet! lol thanks for the recommend! I am loving it!
I was hoping that the actors who play Mary and Matthew was dating
I still have hope.
The most accurate summary ever!! I Love HG and DA!!!
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Thanks! Now that I’m caught up, I can totally watch the first however-many episodes of Season 2 I have on my DVR but was too intimidated to watch b/c I was afraid I wouldn’t know what was going on!!