Written Rambles10 Words That "The Simpsons" InventedTyler Vendetti

When I was little, I didn’t need a watch. I mean, I eventually bought one (what 7-year old can resist a Scooby Doo wristwatch that sings the show’s theme song at the press of a button?) but I didn’t really need it because I measured my days in Simpsons episodes. A 2-hour car ride was always “4 Simpsons episodes” and an 8-hour school day was “one season of The Simpsons.” It was a quirky quality, one which foreshadowed my interest in television and my disinterest in clowns with raspy voices. Aside from claiming the spot as the longest-running animated sitcom on television, The Simpsons has also left a deep impact on American popular culture through its collection of fictional vocabulary words. For example:

1) Tomacco (n.): a hybrid of tomato and tobacco

I’ve witnessed a handful of disturbing things in my life. And yet, one memory that always comes back to me is that of the “tomacco” Simpsons episode, in which Bart and Homer engineer a line of tomatoes containing a tobacco center. I don’t believe the creators of the series set out to make this episode emotionally scarring, but the crazed looks on the faces of the tomacco users still send shivers down my spine. While tomacco may have been a fictional product back in the 1990s, scientists (read: obsession Simpsons fans) have since created a real-life tomacco plant. I can only hope that an army of dolphins is not next on our scientists’ agenda.

Dolphins

2) Craptacular (adj.): spectacularly crappy

For years, we ignored the potential that “crap” had as an adjective. That is, until Bart Simpson came along and introduced this term to Springfield. Think of all the other words that could benefit from the addition of “-tacular” to the end? Like momtacular, someone who is incredibly mom-like. Or bedtacular, a mattress so comfortable, it transcends the realm of regular furniture.

3) Poindextrose (n.): chemical responsible for intelligence in nerds and dorks

The verdict is in: glasses do not indicate or produce intelligence, no matter how many pairs you wear. Why anyone ever associated high IQs with two little pieces of glass propped up on a person’s nose is beyond me. The argument that intelligence runs in the blood is a bit less absurd, though I don’t know if I can accept the “poindextrose” explanation that The Simpsons provides, as much as I appreciate the clever portmanteau.

4) Frogurt (n.): frozen yogurt

Frogurt sounds like the first logical term a marketing director for frozen yogurt would envision. It’s clever, it’s fun, and it rolls off the tongue much better than fro-yo, which brings to mind images of poofy hair and yo-yos.

5) Spankological (adj.): the practice of spanking a child around the clock

Ned Flanders did not have the best childhood. In a flashback sequence, Homer’s neighbor revealed his parents’ way of correcting his past mischievous behavior: by having periodic spanking sessions called “spankologicals.” The punishment transformed Flanders from a “bad seed” into a religious fanatic with a penchant for mumbling creepy phrases under his breath.

Or teaching them to his children.

6) Diddly (n.): a meaningless filler word

Speaking of Flanders, this list would be incomplete without one of his favorite gibberish phrases: diddly. Similar to “um” in our world, “diddly” is used to fill empty silences to allow time to think. Imagine how much more entertaining class presentations would be if every “um” or “like” were replaced with “diddly” or some other nonsensical term? “Shailene Woodley diddly diddly does not consider herself a diddly diddly feminist, according to diddly reports.”

7) Glayvin (n.): an exclamation of emotion

Next to the nameless professor from Powerpuff Girls, Professor Frink from The Simpsons is everyone’s favorite animated scientist. Granted, there aren’t many animated scientists to idolize, but that doesn’t make the previous statement any less true. When he wasn’t throwing dangerous chemicals together, Frink was contributing to our stockpile of exclamations with this all-purpose term. When “Wow!” won’t do, “Holy mother of glayvin!” is there to help.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=874500262 Ryan Coke

    What the one that’s right on Jebidiah Springfield’s statue? Embiggens. Lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1015442705 Rebecca Taylor

    I make up words constantly. Maybe I should write for The Simpsons.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=840510712 George Ferguson
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=768770716 Rory Patrick High

    Ms Higgins uses the word ‘cromulent’? Seems to me you’ve accidentally combined Ms Hoover with embiggens!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1185857552 Jessica Bob Maitland

    Professor Utonium is not nameless! (although, in an episode featuring a flashback to his childhood, his teacher referred to him as ‘Mr. Utonium’ so he might no have a first name)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=18703830 Derrick Christopher Mustelier

    I nominate “CRISITUNITY!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1198908017 Ludmila Assad

    My favs are “Tomacco”, “Save me Jeebus!”, “Esquilax” (the horse with a head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit) and “yvan eht nioj”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1359432073 Marion Virginia Bechtel
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=778470586 Allisun P-R

    I like to use “irregardless” as often as I can

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000870945777 Ness Hornsby

    D’oh should have been the first word on this list, not the last. It’s Ms Hoover, not Higgins and Tomacco was an accidental discovery that came about when Homer was desperately trying to get something to grow on the farm. He planted a variety of different things including seeds, tobacco seeds, gummy bears and candy corn, then used plutonium to help them grow.
    The other words missing have already been mentioned. I’m positive there’s more, but sifting through over 20 years of episodes is going to take nearly as long.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1112470731 Dan Simons

    The term “frogurt” pre-dates The Simpsons by at least 6 years. That’s what it was called in the bay area in the early 80s.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1324763173 Lena Budd

    Kwyjibo!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=598980036 Rick Knight

    Sorry, but “meh” predates it’s use on The Simpsons, but the show did popularize its use.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=598980036 Rick Knight

      Ignore that “autocorrect” contraction. Carry on.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1623122370 Jennifer Monzon-Contreras

    What about one that I still use to this day…..SAXAMAPHONE!!! Lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=543945850 Matthew Pulido

    Who the heck is “Ms. Higgins”?

    And Hubert Farnsworth is my favorite cartoon Professor.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344277619 April Jones

    I use “Jeebus” quite a bit. And I plant tomacco on Cletus’ farm in The Simpsons: Tapped Out all the time. :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1472327985 Asha Galindo

      Yes, I thought Jeebus for sure would be on this list.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=646305071 Cory Albrecht

    Number 1, the tomacco was not a hybrid but a grafting of tomato vines onto tobacco rootstock. Please use proper terminology! :-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1031239009 Doc-Bryan Holliday

    “Meh” Really? no “Meh”??

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1174809209 Rebecca Clark

    Crisitunity! My favourite word in the world.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=658265290 Patrick Wight

    Where is yoink? A word invented by Simpsons writers to indicate someone has taken something and fled.

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