In this fast-paced world of Venti lattes and iPhones and Google and Facebook and Cee Lo Green, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, and sometimes we have to ask ourselves, “Wait, am I drunk?” Here’s a handy guide for when you’re just not sure.
10. You have an overwhelming urge to text everyone you know.
9. If someone walks in on you peeing in the bathroom you just smile, wave and say, “HELLO! WELCOME TO MY TOILET ROOM!”
8. You ask people to guess how old you are.
7. It suddenly seems like the perfect time to talk about your screenplay.
6. Everyone looks like someone famous but the famous people look ugly.
5. You find yourself thinking, “Sweet mother of God, I would love to hear some Billy Joel right now.”
4. Cheese fries.
3. You look at your boyfriend and think, “There is no way I am marrying this man if he doesn’t want to have a bouncy castle at the reception.” Then you tell him. Then you act like you were joking. Then he can tell that you weren’t joking and you start crying.
2. You lost your lip gloss and you’re not even mad.
1. You say, “I’m not drunk, I swear.”
Basically if you’re not sure if you’re drunk, you’re probably drunk.