Apocalypstick's ApocaLIST10 Things You Need To Stop Putting On InstagramAlmie Rose

Instagram is fun and I use it it with a sort of frenzied self hatred, because I can’t stop. I love having a photo diary of my life, and seeing what other people are doing and what fun things I wasn’t invited to. But there are things that I am starting to get sick of seeing, and I can’t be the only one. Here are 10 things I think we should stop putting on Instagram. (And I am guilty of almost all of these offenses.)

10. Your nails.

nails

Ugh, nails everywhere. Take your Home Depot porn somewhere else.

This is controversial considering that we have a daily nail post on HelloGiggles, and I’m not saying that I don’t like seeing photos of creative manicures, because I do, because I bite my own nails and don’t have patience to paint little Disney Princesses or Pikachus or make my nails look like Stanley Kubrick’s filmography, or whatever. I like seeing yours. But I don’t like seeing a small grainy photo of them with some cockadoodle filter over it. I can’t tell what the color actually is. Don’t you want me to see your nails after you put all that hard work into it?

9. Your baby.

creepy baby

Hey guys, what’s going on?

I am not a mother, though I do drink like one. Thus, I can admit that I do not feel the need to constantly show the internet what my stupid kid looks like. I like to take pictures of martinis that I make, is it like that? The difference though is that it doesn’t matter if people see what my martinis look like, because that’s really not a personal thing, and it’s not a threat to the martini. I don’t understand why you would willingly put your child all over the Internet. Doesn’t that seem unsafe? I can’t explain how though. I could be way off on this.

 

8. What you’re watching on TV or listening to on your computer. 

bichon

Oh my God, you guys, this episode of ‘Law & Order: SVU’ is f****ing disgusting.

I mean, come on, really? You’re going to take a photo of your laptop/TV screen because why? Because you need proof that you were alone and had no plans?

 

7. Your crappy breakfast/lunch/dinner.

strawberries

David, stop, I’m not going to hold a strawberry for you to take a picture of. We all know what strawberries look like. Please, Dave. We really need to talk about Kevin.

If it’s visually appealing, great, but if not, I just feel sad for you, and almost angry, like, why are you even doing this to me? You know?

6. What you do at work.

boring office job

People? Sitting at a conference table? In a meeting? This is big news.

Unless you work at Disneyland, under the sea, in space or as Paul McCartney’s left arm, I don’t care, it’s boring and again, I feel sad for you. What am  I supposed to feel when I see a photo of you at your desk? I’m sorry to tell you this, but most of your jobs are boring. I don’t take photos of me sitting in front of my laptop or drinking coffee or making appointments for my boss or shooting birds at the airport, and that’s because it’s boring.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=577972432 Gabriela Lopez

    Damn, I’m disappointed in this post. Normally HelloGiggles is such a positive realm, but this article is soo abundantly negative. Who cares what people put on instagram? Its meant to be a creative interface where you have full control over who you follow and, therefore, which photos you see… True creatives encourage all creativity despite its (in)congruency with their own craft. As a writer, you count as a creative.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=34600179 Almie Rose

      Hi Gabriela! I’m sorry that you found this article negative. I hoped that by the end with, “I’m no hero. I’m just trying to heal the planet” it would be clear that I was being silly and ridiculous but for some (maybe most!) it didn’t come through. I didn’t realize how seriously people took Instagram! I love it, I love using it, and I love you all for reading this. Thank you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=20802744 Hillary Hayward Sanders

    I was going to say the same thing. I was just listening to Sophia on the Riki L podcast and I loved how she said this was such a positive place. That you don’t review books, you suggest them because there was no place for negativity. This is more something you’d see on a snark sight and I know that you all have worked so hard to keep yourself distanced from one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=567882463 Katie Gallin

    I totally agree with this article! I don’t think it’s negative at all, it’s actually hilarious. My favourite part is the pictures of martinis vs pictures of kids, because I am the same way. What is with people always taking picture of their kid? At least include yourself in the picture! sheesh.
    Thanks for a good laugh, I’m gonna re-post this asap!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=633747455 Rachael Berkey

    I love this so much. I laughed out loud at your commentary. Thank you. Thank you.

    *snaps picture of half eaten sandwich*

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=569810613 Anna Nichols Cook

    Then there would only be pictures of skylines, graffiti, and Wal-mart trolls left on Instagram. Eh, take what you can get!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=533077061 Laura Hamilton

    I agree with those disappointed with this article. I like HG for the positivity, not the boring ‘lists of things you shouldn’t do’ you can find anywhere else. Especially with the hating on baby photos. Some of us like kids and pictures of babies. Sorry if you don’t, but you’re free to unfollow/unfriend! And I’ll post pictures of whatever I want on my account, thanks.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1229204703 Amanda Fincher-Nuss

    I kind of agree with and think most of this article is funny. But, the kid thing? I understand that maybe you aren’t trying to be offensive and are just trying to be “honest” in that “edgy” sort of way, but that was just kind of out of line. You don’t have kids, so therefore you have no idea what it’s like to want to share “stupid” photos of EVERYTHING they do because you’re proud of them for EVERYTHING they do. Not to mention the fact that uploading all of the photos of my “stupid” kids is an extremely quick and convenient way for me to save and back those pictures up somewhere other than my phone. The rest of this was pretty funny/true, but calling other people’s kids stupid is something that shouldn’t be published here. I’m honestly kind of disappointed that this article made it past review.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=18712549 Lia Towers

    I’m just glad you didn’t want me to stop putting pictures of my cats and dog.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=34600179 Almie Rose

      I would never, ever ask you to do that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=631254938 Leah Lopez

    This was kind of lame.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=551967348 Jennifer Cox

    Yeah…I have kids and I love them so I take pictures of them. If you don’t like what someone takes pictures of then unfollow them. It’s pretty simple. The whole “stupid” kids pictures is pretty rude for someone who has no kids and has no idea. Also since you can make your instagram private and approve who follows you, there really is not a big safety threat.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1055610070 Andrew Hsieh

    Well, Almie, I think you’re apocalyptically rad.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=50300115 Sarah Lyons

    I post pictures of food. Mostly because I follow a certain type of diet and I like to be able to share recipes… but also because OMG I love food.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1402662693 Duda Ruskim Carvalho

    Connect with Facebook to post a comment

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1402662693 Duda Ruskim Carvalho

    basically, everything is stupid to take a picture, except for babies

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1004654905 Danielle Mercedes Adams

    You know the good thing about MY instagram? Is that it is mine and I will post all the pictures of my daughter that I like. I have a rule and it is this, if you do not like what someone posts UNFOLLOW them it is super duper easy. A facebook, a instagram, a lj, a blog is that person to do WHAT THEY WANT.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=29625015 Megan Reed

    What should people put on instagram? That is the question.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=520252751 Bianca MorphenPrincess Nurton

    #10 LOL it would have been better with a picture that had NAILS in it not Screws.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=34600179 Almie Rose

      That would have been much better, yes. You’ve won this round, Bianca Moprhen Princess Nurton-Shark.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1416960430 Neil Pechart

        lawlz.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1531524736 Erica Jazztastic

      This morning I hadn’t drunk my coffee when I read this. So I was like “Why the hell are people posting hardware on instagram!” I was outraged and confused. Then I drank coffee, and got the joke. I also learned a very good lesson…That i might be a little bit stupid :D lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1531524736 Erica Jazztastic

    I thought this article was kind of funny, and I think it took shots at everyone. I’m one of those people without kids, but I don’t think people shouldn’t post pictures about their kids on stuff. I think that’s a part of their life, and just because i chose not to have kids yet. Doesn’t mean that I can tell them not to share their kids with the people they have following them. Isn’t that what all the crap is supposed to be about. Sharing pictures of crap that is going on with your life. Again I do think this article was tongue and cheek. They were Just trying to be funny, and that’s why they kind of went after everyone.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=34600179 Almie Rose

    I’m glad that some of you were able to see the humor and for those who were offended, please know that I have no idea what your children look like and therefore could not possibly be referring to your children. If you’re on here, and you’re commenting, and you’re speaking up, you’re probably a rad parent. :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1004654905 Danielle Mercedes Adams

      I am not only rad parent my almost 3 year old daughter tells me almost every day that I am super cool. Nothing beats that.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=34600179 Almie Rose

        High five!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514351384 Wednesday Addams

    Boring and redundant. Get some more original writers, please.

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