Apocalypstick's ApocaLIST 10 things I Wanted for Christmas as a Kid but Didn't Get and Still Want Almie Rose

I had a great childhood and I’m not complaining about that. But you know that feeling when you’re a kid and you look forward to Christmas Day with adrenal pumping excitement (and Chanukah with mild interest, if you celebrated it like me) and you’re thinking, “I just know they got it! I can’t wait!!!” and then the soul crushing disappointment when you open the box and it’s a sweater? My parents were generous but there were a few gifts that eluded me because they were just too expensive or blah blah blah. Some of these may look familiar to you.

10.) Pretty Pretty Princess.

pretty pretty princess game

I imagine this is what Katy Perry's dressing room looks like.

I think the object of the game was to collect jewelry and then wear it and whoever got the most was crowned the pretty pretty princess. But I wouldn’t know. (THANKS, MOM AND DAD!) I did play it once but it was just too dazzling for me to comprehend.

Kate Middleton

The Kate Middleton version is a lot less fun.

 

9.) The Barbie Dreamhouse.

barbie dollhouse

I don't think these things ever came with toilets.

I wanted this thing so badly. My friend Jenna had it and she had the one with the elevator and I had to have the one with the elevator because if you don’t get the house with the elevator you may as well set the whole thing on fire.

 

8.) Play Kitchen.

It's a play DINER. What magic is this??

Worst feminist ever, right here. But screw it, I wanted a fake kitchen. It just came with a sense of power. If they sold Play Advertising Executive Office I probably would have wanted it, too. I loved play food. It’s so very Andy Warhol to have a plastic hotdog and hamburger.

 

7.) Kid Sized Batmobile.

kid batmobile

It looked a lot cooler when I was 8.

I don’t know what to say except that I wanted this so badly. If it’s the one I’m thinking of, it was motorized so you actually drove it, not peddle it with your feet, Flinstones style. This was the coolest thing I had ever seen and the most expensive. I could probably squeeze into it now but they’re even more expensive as they are collectibles. Why does everything bad happen to me?

I would also have settled for a Barbie Jeep:

barbie jeep

"Damnit Shelia I told you to get the brakes checked!"

 

6.) Baby All Gone.

baby all gone

It puts the cherries in its mouth or else it gets the hose again.

The idea here is that you feed a baby cherries and milk and it seems like she’s actually eating and drinking. I didn’t even like baby dolls but I was fascinated by the cherry spoon. I would have sworn to God that that Betty White looking child was actually eating cherries from the spoon. How did they do it? I wondered. They disappeared so quickly into her gaping mouth! I grew up and realized the truth: the cherries are on a spring in the spoon that snaps back into the spoon. She’s not eating them at all.

5.) 90210 Dolls.

I’ve gone on and on about how my mom wouldn’t let me watch Bevery Hills, 90210 and how obsessed I am with Dylan McKay so this should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me. My friend Stephanie had all of them. Brenda and Dylan were the best ones.

beverly hills 90210

Damn you, Stephanie.

We fought over the Dylan doll. I think you can understand why:

dylan mckay doll

With the face of a responsible 40 year old dad.

 

4.) Play Diner.

I just really like diners.

I thought I dreamed this until that Play Diner gave me a hazy image of a miniature diner with rounded dolls. I wanted it so badly even though I think I was 2 when it came out. How did I even remember this? Probably because even as a kid I ate my feelings. I also owned that board game “Eat At Ralph’s”:

It's suddenly very clear to me why I have so many food issues.

 

3.) Delux Kids Playhouse.

kids playhouse

OH IT MUST BE SO NICE TO HAVE YOUR OWN TOWNHOUSE ISN'T IT, JESSICA?

This seemed like the greatest gift one could ever get. It’s…breathtaking. It’s…painfully unnecessary. I still want this. I would set it up as my home office.

 

2.) A swimming pool. 

heart shaped pool

But only if it was in a cool shape. Otherwise, JUST FORGET IT.

I didn’t have a swimming pool growing up in LA. The injustice! My friend Katie did and I swam there a lot and we pretended we were witches and her name was Juniper and I was Samantha. Somehow this was related to swimming, I don’t remember why.

 

1.) Talkboy.

home alone talkboy

Never did one kid do so much with a tape recorder.

For those of you who have no idea what this is (a Star Wars thing?) it’s from Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (which I think is far superior to Home Alone but whatever) used by the main character, Kevin, as brilliantly played by Macaulay Culkin. These things called casettes went inside these things called tape recorders and you spoke into the pull out mike and talk into it and than play it back and that’s basically it. But the fun thing was that you could change the pitch of your voice. This was an amazing feature if you saw the movie. Now the whole thing seems pretty stupid.

But on one magical Christmas, this gift was under the tree.

FOR MY BROTHER.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal. And a happy new year.

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  1. I remember asking one year for the Clueless phone and the digital datebook. I don’t know if anyone remembers these things.

  2. [...] I saw this cute post on Hello Giggles called “10 Things I Wanted For Christmas as a Kid but Didn’t Get and Still Want,” and it prompted me to take the question to Twitter and Facebook. What did you always want [...]

  3. I always wanted a motoraized mini car too :( I want a pink convertable, just like the one my Barbie’s had haha. There is a shop down the road from me that has an original batmobile! I gawk at it everytime I drive by, it’s so cool!

  4. I had Baby All Gone!! Oh I loved that, the milk bottle also would disappear when you tipped it over to feed the baby! And the can of cherries SMELLED DIVINE.

  5. to post a comment

  6. One year for Christmas, I actually got exactly what I wanted. The “Baby Alive” doll. If you are not aware of this genius piece of plastic, let me briefly explain. It was a doll, you fed it this mush created out of packets of powder you mixed with water, and then you wait…and then she becomes “alive”. By alive, I mean she poos/pees herself. I mistakenly fed her all of the packets of food that came with her on Christmas morning in one serving, and if Baby Alive taught me anything, it was portion control. I had to carry her around in a plastic bag the whole day.

  7. I wanted a Barbie Jeep, swimming pool, and Talk Boy! Sadly, I never got them. But I did have Pretty Pretty Princess and the kitchen set thing. I believe they made a girly version of the Talk Boy cleverly titled Talk Girl.

  8. My daughter had “Pretty Pretty Princess” when she was 3-4. It was cute, but there was this creepy black ring that seemed like something from the wiccan supply catalog. Thanks to grandparents, my kids also had a couple of those jeeps. hey were battery operated and the wiring kept coming loose, though. When I was a kid (in the dark ages, aka the ’60s), we all wanted Creepy Crawler sets–an electric cooker with molds for making plastic bugs. There was also an edible version where you could make something resembling gummy worms, spiders, etc. My parents would never buy something like this, but I played with it at friends’ houses.

  9. definitely had the dylan mckay doll!!!! BEST!
    home alone 2 is infinitely better than the first, and in fact, i am appalled it has not be recognized as the film masterpiece it truly is by the academy. During December I basically watch it daily, and so I truly appreciate the TalkBoy and what it did for Kevin Mcallister. How else could have impersonated Peter Mcallister, the father? He couldn’t have.
    AMAZING AS ALWAYS ALMIE!

    • Well of course you love HA2 better than HA because you’re my soul mate.

      Thank you!!

      Apocalypstick | 12/05/2011 11:12 am
  10. I had a talk boy and loved it so much. Credit Card!! you got it.

    Anonymous | 12/05/2011 10:12 am
    • AHAHAHA YES, YES I FORGOT THAT AMAZING LINE. He sounded nothing like an adult man. So good.

      Apocalypstick | 12/05/2011 11:12 am
  11. I totally had that barbie house in the picture! It didnt have an elevator though, so I made one out of a shoebox and tied it on the back of the house with a shoestring!

  12. I wanted the Barbie Jeep and the Barbie dream house too :[
    I also always wanted a “My Size Barbie” or “My dream size barbie” (I don’t remember exactly what it was called) but now that I think about it, I don’t know why I even wanted one so badly, I think it was so I could braid/style/cut it’s hair lol.

  13. You can tell that I was the first grandchild for one side of my family…. I had a play kitchen, Barbie corvette (for me, not the dolls), Pretty pretty princess AND a Barbie Dream House….

  14. I desperately wanted the play kitchen – any version, I remember there being so many. I had a few friends who had them, and they were all different with awesome plastic food. My dad built a play stove/oven and a play sink for me and my sister.
    Any adult could see that they were great and any child would be lucky to have them. For a small child it was not the same, and how could they not see that?!

  15. OMG TALKBOY!! I just got so crazy excited seeing this!
    We had pretty Pretty Princess though. I played it well into high school…don’t even care if you judge me for it.

  16. I wanted a trampoline, but my parents thought it was too dangerous. Chrissie day I ran to the window- and it wasn’t there. They gave me dozens of toys, I opened them all quietly, & sadly murmured thankyou. By lunchtime they were so upset, my dad decided to fix the situation with some psychology- he asked why I was sad & I told him. He said, “Well, you can have a trampoline only if you give alllll these toys back” (there was literally thousands of dollars worth of toys- I’m not kidding). They nearly died when I said, “SURE, take them all!!” The next day they bought me a trampoline- and then let me keep all the toys. Man, I loved that thing. I nearly killed myself a dozen times (this was before safety nets) but it was fantastic, like flying! :)

  17. Pretty Pretty Princess! I used to love that game, haha. Also, I totally forgot about Baby All Gone but I used to have her! And Eat at Ralph’s I had forgotten about too. I found a TalkGirl in the attic a few weeks ago and it had my sister and her friends’ recordings from so long ago!

  18. I had something like Delux Kids Playhouse, when I was 9. It was a lot cooler, because it was a pink palace! Since I didn’t have backyard, I had it at our sitting room so every guest could be jealous of me. Lol.

  19. OMG Baby All Gone. I wanted one too!

  20. I desperately wanted a Cabbage Patch Doll when I was a kid. My parents didn’t have much money (nor did they much like dolls) so I never got one. My husband heard me telling someone this story a few years ago and he gave me my very own Cabbage Patch Doll for my next birthday :)