10 Signs You're With The Person You Should MarryLaura Donovan

We all know it’s common to “kiss a lot of frogs” before finding the right partner. The good news? It’s all worth it, because once you do find your match everything else begins to fall into place. Last year, I was insecure about having a serious boyfriend when I didn’t have full-time employment. I thought I had nothing to offer without a cool job, but the man I adore ended up helping me get to where I need to be career-wise, and the individual you’re meant to end up with will do the same and more. You may not immediately know that your significant other is going to be your spouse someday, but here are some signs that you two are bound for life.

10. You have similar long-term goals

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This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in the same line of work. That can be good too, but wanting the same things long-term — whether it’s having kids, a house, or lots of vacations — will help you through any obstacles you may face.

9. You like each other’s families

It’s true that you don’t just marry your soulmate, but his/her family as well. Many people complain about the in-laws and this doesn’t indicate your union is doomed, but life is so much easier when everyone gets along for the most part. I’m lucky my current beau’s parents and sister are awesome, but a former flame’s dad was unkind and distrustful of me, so I figured out pretty quickly that I hadn’t met the right guy yet.

8. You miss him/her when you’re apart

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Wanting to be with the person you love all of the time doesn’t make you needy or annoying. It shows you cherish that person deeply and understand every experience — whether big or small — is better with him/her around. I enjoy watching The Simpsons in bed, but I always laugh harder at Homer’s antics when my S.O. is there cackling with me. Alone time is healthy, but so is wanting to giggle and chat with your favorite person in the world after a rough day at work.

7. You’re always thinking about how your decisions affect each other

Considering a new job? You’re also thinking about how it would fit with your S.O.’s schedule and needs, especially if you live together and share finances. This works both ways, so if he’s mulling over a drastic career change and wants to move to the other side of the world or country, he should also want to take you with him.

6. You don’t want any secrets

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For the longest time, I was scared to stay over at my boyfriend’s house because I had a major sleeptalking/walking problem that had been going on for years. I was embarrassed about doing something ridiculous in the middle of the night but he assured me he wouldn’t judge my behavior — he just wanted me there. Sure enough, I was so relaxed with him that my sleep yelling/walking issues went away in his presence. I’m glad I explained my hesitation up front so we could find a solution.

The closer you are to someone, the more important things you’ll reveal about yourself — from your salary to your family history. The more they know, the more they understand you. The less-than-appealing stuff is important, too. The right person wants all of you, not just his/her idealized version of you, because that’s not real.

5. Other people comment on how great you are together

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If parents, friends, siblings and relatives can see how happy you make each other, you know it’s going to last. On that note, how cute are Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield? You don’t need to know them to understand what an awesome pair they make. These two should get married TODAY.

4. You’ve survived tough times and blowouts

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As much as I admire couples who claim they never fight over anything, I think there’s something to be said about having productive arguments. Life partnership isn’t all snuggles and kisses, so it’s important to know you can get through disagreements before you tie the knot. There will be many rough days when you’re exhausted, chasing screaming children around the house and having unpleasant conversations about money and taxes, but if you can get through the fighting and awkward discussions without too many tears, you can handle marriage.

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  1. I only scored about 4 on this list and my husband and I celebrate our 42nd anniversary Monday….I guess we need to get to work on it.

  2. Lovely list, although I do make the distinction between a “fight” and an “argument”. Fights involve partners angrily attacking each other emotionally (if it gets physical, well, that’s another issue) and usually both partners seek to “win”. An argument is, as you said, productive. Arguments end in agreements, or at least an understanding for the other’s stance on the issue. I don’t believe that those two concepts are synonymous.

    • Sorry but that is just complete crap. There’s no need at all to make love and marriage so clinical, it’s silly and if you really feel the need to be having counselling BEFORE marriage I can hardly imagine them having a successful marriage at all, at least not one based on actual affection and love.

  3. I read this article to give it a chance, but I really want to add that pre-marriage counselling should be sought for 6 months to a year before marrying. If your partner is unwilling to do that, it’s best to make that a deal breaker. Counsellors are impartial and know the right questions to ask that you may be unaware of, or scared to hear the answer. Marriage is a big deal. It isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. Do not let anyone pressure you into it just because you tick boxes on a list.

  4. To all the comments below, I believe in the article it says that the families liking each other isn’t a MUST, but it makes life easier. Geez…

  5. I don’t get along with my in-laws and my husband cant stand to be around my family as well but we have been married almost 20 years. We love each other very much we have a lot of fun together hes my best friend. No one wanted us together and they all claimed our relationship was never gonna work. But here we are 22 years and 5 kids later stronger than ever. I don’t believe anyone can tell you if your relationship will work or not. You will know when you have met the person your ment to be with don’t go by some list. Just my opinion

  6. Being that my gf’s parents are super homophobes, should no one ever be with her? Like seriously, some people just have crap families, should they be punished the rest of their lives for it? I think it’s different when the family and the significant other are tight and the family just doesn’t like you.

  7. I don’t know about number nine. I don’t like my boyfriend’s family that much but my mother doesn’t like her in-laws and my parents have been married for almost 30 years. Goes to show that its more about to each his own.

    • It depends if your spouse will support you or their parents. Many marriages are ruined by not liking the in laws. Especially if the spouse can’t handle that