It is tempting to stay inside all day. The inside has shade and air conditioning (or heating) and WiFi. But the inside does not have leaves or grass or birds (except that one time when the pigeon flew in your open window and you spent the afternoon hiding behind your banister with a pasta strainer on your head for protection).
Sure, it is really tempting to stay inside, but here are ten reasons not to.
1. You can only Instagram so many pictures of your cat before your followers revolt.
Now you can Instagram the cloudy sky and the decorative foam on cappuccinos and that crack in the sidewalk.
2. Don Draper will never love you the way your dog will after you take him on a walk.
Nothing is better than a morning of sitting on the couch watching Mad Men. But then you look up and realize that the sun is gone and so is your dignity.
3. You cannot eat another can of Spaghetti-Os.
I am an awful cook. One time I burned a banana. Don’t know how it happened. It’s still kind of all a blur.
If you are a good cook, then stay inside all you want and enjoy your culinary superiority.
4. When you’re in the great outdoors, there are no pictures about your high school classmate’s engagement.
So, they’re getting engaged after only dating for two months? So, it’s a fall wedding? So, the flowers are going to be daisies and daffodils? So what! You have the majesty of nature!
5. Thoreau couldn’t have conveyed the majesty of Walden pond in 140 characters.
Chillin’ by the pond today. Scavenging for berries. #hermitlyfe #transcendentalism
It just doesn’t have the same clout.
6. How will you know how much you hate house parties until you go to one?
On the upside: You get to meet new people. On the downside: The music is too loud to hear them, you are very sweaty and you keep on getting elbowed by the guy with the ironic mustache.
But you will never know unless you try.
7. It could mean life or death.
Not in the metaphorical, Shakespearean sense of life or death but in actually the physiological, fatal sense.
Sedentary lifestyles are linked to 25% of all deaths from major chronic disease. Also, regular physical activity is shown boost your memory and decrease levels of anxiety and depression. Physical activity does not mean that you have to go to the gym that has the judgy lady on the elliptical; just dust off those old moonshoes or heelies and take a casual Sunday stroll.
8. You are never going to meet Danny DeVito if you stay inside all day.
I would really like to meet Danny DeVito one day. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have never seen Danny DeVito in my house so he must be outside somewhere.
9. Vitamin D.
10. No one can fully appreciate your collection of corduroy overalls if they can’t see them.
I have not one, but three pairs of overalls. But not just any overalls. These aren’t linen and they aren’t denim. I have three pairs of corduroy overalls, and it would be a crime for me to deny the world such a sight.
You have to let all of humanity breathe in your covered-up glory, or you can invite all of humanity into your house and you can all watch Mad Men together. Whatever is most comfortable for you.