MOMS 10 Reasons Why Laundry Is The Worst Nicole Paulhus

As I sit down to write this, I am surrounded by laundry. Some of it clean, some of it dirty, all of it on the floor in piles. It’s been slowly taking over my apartment for a week. Yes, it takes me an entire week to do laundry. I hate laundry that much. Here are the top ten reasons why laundry is the worst and I wouldn’t miss it if it disappeared forever.

1. I simultaneously have too much and too little clothing. I feel like I never have clothes to wear, yet when I do laundry it takes me at least six loads. How can I have so much clothing to clean and then never any clean clothes? How does this happen?

2. Sorting. If you’re anything like me, your bedroom is a sea of discarded clothes. Some are dirty, some aren’t. Some still have tags on them, some have been there for weeks. I keep waiting for the day I outgrow this. Keep telling myself this will be the month I keep my bedroom clean. Then I end up, once again, sifting through piles and piles of clothes trying to figure out what is clean or dirty on laundry day

3. Quarters. Quarter laundry is the worst. No matter how carefully I count, I always end up exactly one quarter short of a load and then have to walk to Walgreens and barter. I’m telling you, they guard their quarters are like horcruxes in that place.

4. People who take your stuff out of the machine. I’m not saying I’ve never done it. Everyone’s taken someone else’s laundry out of the machine, yet it’s still super frustrating when it happens to you. One time a guy took my WET clothes out of the washer and simultaneously put clothes in both the washer and dryer. I don’t even understand. How did he have clothes to go in the dryer if my stuff had JUST come out of the washer? I’m just not okay with strangers touching my undies okay? Which leads me to my next point…

5. Dropping your underwear in public. No matter how hard I try, I always drop something from my laundry basket. That something is always a pair of underwear. It’s like they’re enacting a Toy Story plan of escape.

6. Awkward small talk. Every trip to my apartment’s laundry room is another opportunity for my neighbors to engage me in awkward small talk. I hate it so very much. Yes it’s nice out. Yes I am home at noon on a Tuesday. I just don’t want to discuss it with you while I’m wearing my most ridiculous laundry day outfit.

7. Socks. Matching socks is just obnoxious. I buy my socks in pairs, then laundry day comes and none of them seem to match up. I know this is the most overused joke ever, but honestly where do all those stray socks go?

8. Folding. I’m just not a fan.

9. Things shrink. We have cars that parallel park themselves, why haven’t we invented fabric that doesn’t shrink yet? Can somebody get on that? Thanks.

10. Putting it all away. This is where I often get exhausted and just give up. If I’ve successfully cleaned and folded my laundry I feel like I’ve accomplishment so much already and should just give myself a break. This break turns into days of picking out outfits from the floor and steaming them in the bathroom while I shower. It works, until someone that is not me needs to enter my apartment and the hoarder panic sets in.

This post is dedicated to my friend Nate, who has text me every day for the past week asking where his borrowed sweatpants are.

Feature image via theahhamoments

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  1. Gosh what is it about putting away. ITS SO HORRIBLe. I hang everything and I still hate putting it away.

  2. Always hate looking forward to laundry day,we only have one washer and dryer in my apt building which sucks

  3. ahh, laundry is the worst! “tumble dry low” is the scariest thing I have ever read. I believe I share some of your sentiments…

    http://hypertheticallyspeaking.blogspot.com/2012/04/laundry-lament.html

  4. I could’ve easily written this. Luckily though, my best friend has this weird obsession with laundry so when she’s stressed she’ll come over and do my laundry and organize my closet. I’m definitely keeping her :) lol

  5. This article made me so grateful that I have my own washer and dryer… >_<

  6. I’ll be there next week to do your laundry!! Love, Mom

  7. This is why you marry someone that has no issue doing laundry and is willing to do all this for you. I did, and I haven’t done laundry in 6 years. I’m not letting this one get away! ;)

  8. I live in a tropical country (Singapore) where the sun ALWAYS shines, so sorting washed laundry is actually a very enjoyable thing to do because of the smell of fresh, sunned laundry!

  9. This list made me feel so much better! After every point, I just thought “Thank god this isn’t only me…” At least my building has a laundry card system so you don’t have to use quarters. I’ve been putting off laundry for over a month. On the plus side, I’ve developed a really good organizational system using the top of my dresser, the floor, and two hampers to sort out clean, dirty, and worn but can be worn again.

  10. Thank you! I despise washing! I will get it in the machine, but after that its on it’s own..

  11. Last week was Free Laundry day on my campus, so when I didn’t switch my clothes the second they were done washing, some lady put my WET CLOTHES ON THE COUNTER. I almost pissed in her clothes just to get back at her. Don’t touch my shit, bitch.

  12. I have a washer/dryer in my apartment, and I have the bad habit of leaving my clean/dry clothes in the dryer and just pulling things out as I need them…

  13. Oh this seriously cracked me up…as I sit here wearing one of those famous laundry day outfits… I hate laundry, and if my fourteen-year-old was better at it, I’d make her do it. Love this!!! <3

  14. I seriously agree with you here! I have my own washer and dryer, but we are a family of 5…there’s just so much laundry all the time. I honestly think someone should start up a laundry business to wash, dry and fold all of my clothes, just the way I like it. Of course, anyone else but me. I wouldn’t even want to do laundry IF I WAS getting paid. Sigh. Off to fold some more stupid clothes.

  15. I say, life is for enjoying, not cleaning! Except for underwear. They should usually be clean. But everything else… Screw it!

  16. Yes, but there is that INSANE sense of accomplishment that happens when you can finally see your bedroom floor again! Beige carpet! Who knew?

  17. I just read this to my mom and all she asked was, “Did you write this?!” Thank you for expressing my hatred toward laundry. I still don’t understand how we haven’t invented fabric that cleans itself. Thank you again… off to do laundry I go!

  18. Putting laundry away is THE worst part of laundry. Ewwww

  19. Omigosh. You just described my life! Only I have kids, so my 6 loads is easily 13 or more. (does laundry breed when you sleep?) it always seems like there is way more than it looked like the day before.