1) I don’t get Botox every 5 seconds.
2) I don’t have a mean girl mom.
3) When I get married, if my mom gets a face-lift before or after my wedding, I will dis-own her.
4) My mom and I don’t get into a fight every time we talk.
5) Not every single person in my family is married to a professional athlete.
6) My father-in-law (imaginary) doesn’t ask me for money constantly.
7) My half sister (imaginary) doesn’t sit on my (imaginary) brother’s lap every time she sees him.
8) Not everyone in my family’s name starts with K.
9) I don’t wear clothing 2 sizes small for me.
10) I wear swimsuits that actually COVER what they’re supposed to.