Since Game of Thrones went on hiatus in June, I have been experiencing unusual withdrawal symptoms that are frankly starting to get on everyone’s nerves. I don’t really blame them. If I had to put up with my constant mumblings about power and hear “a Lannister always pays her debts” every time I borrowed money, I’d probably hate me too. While re-enacting Daenerys Targaryen’s dragon rescue with some of my more intimidating-looking beanie babies, I began to wonder how awesome it would be to be one of Khaleesi’s dragon children. Why? Funny you should ask.
1) No one would ever mess with you, and not just because you’re a dragon.
Being a dragon has its perks, one of which includes never having to worry about getting robbed at gunpoint or getting picked on in class (though you might have to deal with extra security checks at the airport every once in awhile). With Daenerys as your mother, though, you’d have the added bonus of always having Khaleesi by your side, ready to defend you at all costs. A little overprotective? Perhaps, but you’ll be grateful for her protection next time someone tries to kidnap you, which is inevitable.
2) You will likely be the next heir.
Maybe not you specifically, because having a dragon on the throne would result in an excess of gold and a lot of miscommunication. After all, if you can’t speak, how are people supposed to know you wanted a doughnut for lunch and not another rabbit? With your help, Khaleesi will be able to gain power and rule Westeros with you by her side. Doesn’t that sound nice?
3) You can breathe fire.
On the surface, the ability to breathe fire seems like just another way to scare your friends into doing your bidding, but in reality, it’s so much more than that. Think about it. Everyone will invite you camping because you can save them five hours of rubbing rocks together by just coughing fire onto a pile of sticks. Not to mention, you could cook everyone’s meals in half the time. And if that’s not good enough, armies will probably try to recruit you as a living, breathing flamethrower in times of need. This leads me to my next point.
4) Everyone wants you. (Not romantically, necessarily.)
Ever since you were a fetus, people have been trying to claim you for themselves. Not only are you the coolest pet in the world but, as dragons, you are also the key to success in Westeros. That’s got to make you feel good, right?
5) You’re practically like a very rare Pokémon.
Before you were born, dragons were thought to be extinct. That is, until your mom hatched your eggs in a giant bonfire like it was no big deal. As a dragon child of Daenerys, your very existence marks the resurrection of a previously extinct species. You should be expecting playing cards with your faces on them in a matter of days.
6) You can fly.
Perhaps the only downside to this ability is that you can no longer participate in small talk conversations that involve the question “Which superpower would you rather have?” because you already have a couple and that’s not fair to everyone else. Though, in your infant state, you may look more like a reptilious flying squirrel than a terrifying dragon, you will soon be dominating the skies and striking fear in the hearts of civilians, like the good ol’ days.
7) You’ll never get kidnapped.
At least, not for long. While, yes, you’ve fallen into the wrong hands a couple of times, your mom has always come back to save the day. And if you should ever get stolen again, Daenerys will undoubtedly hunt down your captors, like a fantastical version of Taken (2008) but with more magic and less Liam Neeson.
8) Your mom loves you unconditionally.
Not many people can say that their mother has walked through fire for them. While other people may not have the best relationship with their parents (cough cough Tyrion), you can rest soundly knowing that the Mother of Dragons will always be at your side, ready to behead anyone that tries to hurt you.
9) Your name instills fear in people.
“Professor, you gave me a B- on that paper. How dare you?! Do you know who I am??” This is only one of the many conversations that your title as Khaleesi’s dragon children can start. This may not be the most moral practice but if you ever need help getting out of a sticky situation, name-dropping “The Mother of Dragons” always helps.
10) For being terrifying, you’re also pretty adorable.
Where can I get one?
I barely scratched the surface of Khaleesi’s dragon family here so tell me: Why else would you want to be Khaleesi’s dragon children?
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