Apocalypstick's ApocaLIST10 Reasons to Love Your Body NOW!Almie Rose

If one more of my friend tells me they NEED to lose weight NOW I will slap them — with love, of course. Because I just want to shake them (with love) and tell them, “That is a MYTH! Do you NOT need to lose weight! That’s a big myth! You’re beautiful!” And I would shout this with love, from the rooftops. Of love.

If you want to lose weight for health reasons, then go ahead — my point is that NO ONE should feel that they HAVE to, simply because bathing suit season is coming. Can you imagine if we all just said, “screw it, we’re fabulous” and didn’t get in “bikini body shape?” It would be AWESOME.

And you CAN. Here are 10 reasons to love your body NOW! Lord knows I’m trying as hard as I can.

10. Because, Oprah.

oprah

Let me explain. Oprah puts herself on every single cover of her magazine. Every cover. Once in a while, she’ll be joined by Dr. Oz or Ellen, but it’s usually all Oprah all the time. Look at a cover of O Magazine and now look at the cover of any other magazine. She doesn’t look like anyone else on any cover. And it works And it’s wonderful. Because sometimes even when I’ll think, “Really Oprah? June cover again?” I’ll realize, hey, she’s Oprah and it’s her magazine and we don’t see enough bodies like hers on magazines. SO TAKE IT AWAY, OPES!

9. Because you’re too young for this.

baby

Look at this baby. Do you think it has body issues? Hell no! Good on you, baby!

Worrying about your body in your twenties is ridiculous. We’re too young for this kind of angst! I look at photos of myself from when I was 21 and I think, Oh man, I had a beautiful body, I can’t believe I used to put that body down. I wish I had that body now! And the cycle continues a few years later. Even in your thirties, you’re too young to fret about your body. (And forties!) Love it NOW. Because one day you’re gonna look back and kick yourself for not appreciating what you had.

8. Because think of all the amazing things it can do for you!

carlton-dance

It walks. It dances. It runs. It digests food for you. It lets you dream. It gives you eyelids so you don’t have stuff stuck in your eyes all the time. Sounds way basic, huh? Who cares! You gotta start appreciating your body somewhere. Appreciate your arms and your legs, because some people don’t have those, and would kill for your arms that you diss for being “too fat.” Try appreciating them for what they can do for you. Try doing a pushup. Look at how strong you are! (If you’re like me, you do push up on your knees, and that’s okay. Baby steps!) Just appreciate the most basic functions of your body if you can’t love it yet. It does so much and works so hard.

7. Because it’s not as bad as you think it is.

pouting girl

CHILL OUT, BETH, NO ONE SEES YOUR CELLULITE.

We are all our own harshest critics. I have a friend who is just so mean to her stomach while I’m in glorious amazement saying, “Girl, if I had your stomach, I WOULD ONLY WEAR CROP TOPS. EVEN AT WEDDINGS. ESPECIALLY AT WEDDINGS,” and then she says, “WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT ME?” and then I start doing the Carlton dance. No but seriously, we are waaaaaaay too hard on ourselves. No one else sees the flaws you do. So cut it out.

6. Because you’re going to miss out.

waving goodbye

“If you need us, we’ll be in France, having lots of fun!”

This is a true story, one I’ve been way too ashamed to admit for so many years, but I’m going to do it because I don’t want ANYONE to make the same ridiculous mistake I did. I was offered a free trip to France to visit a friend at her family’s at their vacation home or whatever it was. And I didn’t go. Why? Because the vacation home had a swimming pool. And I didn’t want to be seen in a bathing suit.

DO YOU REALIZE HOW STUPID AND RIDICULOUS THAT IS??? I TURNED DOWN A FREE TRIP TO FRANCE. GUESS HOW MANY FREE TRIPS TO FRANCE MY PARENTS HAVE SINCE OFFERED? ZERO. GUESS HOW MANY OPPORTUNITIES LIKE THAT I’VE HAD SINCE? ZERO.

You’re going to miss out on life if you’re worried about your thighs. Don’t do it!

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  1. I drove 14 hours to a funeral in a different state than I live in for my best guy friend in high school. He was the only guy i had ever known that just knew me. He had me pegged. I arrived at 4 am and was junked up on monster and 5 hours that i could hear the tires on the pavement when i closed my eyes to sleep. I dreaded the whole day, but mainly because of how i would look now from when i last saw all these people. it had been over ten years. I was not looking to loose weight, i was looking to gain weight. It goes both ways. Now because I regret my decision i have gained too much weight. now i feel even worse than i did super skinny. My point is that its now how much you weigh, its about self confidence. I wish i had some.

  2. funny AND inspiring. good work!

  3. Your message is awesome, and so are your words. gotta love a funny and inspiring writer. I may have to start frequenting your blog ;)

  4. You are amazing. Thank you.

  5. I love this! I love this because I love my body because it takes me places, and that is just glorious! Plus, I get to play uke and sing and we are just so freakin’ lucky people! PERSPECTIVE!
    And it is exhausting to see people around me, especially young girls (and I am talking super young, eleven year olds!!) worrying about it and craving and suffering, I mean CAN WE JUST NOT!!
    So, great article and great spirit and great everything! If we were close (like in the same continent or something) I would hang out with you and talk about how stupid it all is really. Cheers! ^^

  6. I haven’t experienced a mother-daughter sunset beach walk

  7. Love. This.