Obviously there are a few intrinsic problems with wanting to pursue Don Draper as a romantic interest. For one thing, it’s not 1961 anymore so he’s probably about eighty by now, which is a bit too much of an age gap for my liking. And for another, lest we forget, Don Draper is sadly a fictional character. But somehow, neither of those things serve to make him any less desirable to me. And okay, the whole cheating on his wife and (spoiler alert) lying to everyone about his real identity might be considered by some a bit of a turn-off but for me, the mystery and bad behaviour are all part of his charm.
1.) I mean, come on – have you seen him!?
Far be it for me to come across as shallow but my goodness, Don Draper is good-looking. To quote the almighty Liz Lemon, I want to go to there. I want to go to there a lot. I don’t know if it’s the slicked back hair, the piercing eyes, the permanent 5 o’clock shadow or the fact that he looks so damn good in a suit (I suspect it’s a devastating combination of all those things), but dude is hot – who doesn’t want a boyfriend that looks like that?
2.) He’s good with words.
A man that can articulate himself is sexy. And what’s even better is that Don comes up with advertising slogans for a living so he’s concise, too. Unlike me who is about to waffle on for at least 500 words about how much I love a fictitious character.
3.) Strong and silent.
Leading on from my last point because I realised I didn’t actually have 10 separate reasons, Don is a man of few words. I like that because it gives me more time to talk and there’s less chance we’ll disagree about stuff. He’ll just bottle it all up until we have a big old row and then some hot make-up sex. Don’t worry Don, when we’re together I’ll do enough talking for both of us.
4.) The gifts…
Wanna go to the fanciest restaurant in New York for Valentine’s Day before retiring to a luxury hotel suite? Don will take you. Feeling a bit sad because you’re stuck at home all day? Don’t worry, here’s a diamond bracelet. Fancy a trip to Italy? Just hop aboard the Draper Express, honey. I could definitely be down with all those material goods. I mean sure, most of the time they’re because he’s feeling horribly guilty about his philandering and the fact that he’s not really Don Draper at all but who cares, look at all the shiny things he bought me!
5.) A dry sense of humour and a massive ego.
I like sarcasm and arrogance. Mr Draper has both of those things in spades. Killer one-liners and observational humour and an unfailing sense of his own importance (I mean, wouldn’t you be cocky if you looked like that? I know I would.) make him completely irresistible to me.
6.) He understands the importance of day-drinking.
Have you ever been in the office at 11 on a Monday morning and thought to yourself, “I already need a stiff drink”? I have. And so has Don Draper. The only difference is that whereas I just sit it out until quitting time, Don Draper can sashay right on over to his in-office minibar and fix himself something alcoholic and refreshing. Celebrating? Commiserating? Just plain bored? Don is the go-to man for all your day-drinking needs. If he was my boyfriend, it would be rude not to have a few gins at lunchtime… or earlier.
7.) The guy knows a good cocktail.
Similar, but distinctly separate from the last point. Whilst drinking during office hours is generally confined to straight spirits (quicker to pour), at the weekend, Don likes to kick back with a nice cocktail and he’s even trained his young daughter to prepare them for him to perfection! Since I love cocktails, Sally seems pretty cool and I’ve secretly always wanted a child butler, I feel Mr Draper and I would be perfectly suited to each other. It’s fate!
8.) Women seem to enjoy his company.
I’m not gonna get too explicit with this one – you all know what I’m talking about. He’s got plenty of experience in that area and Betty always looks like she’s having a pretty good time, anyway.
9.) The bitching car.
I’m not really a car person but that 1962 Cadillac Coupe De Ville he drives around seems pretty sweet. I mean, I’d be excited if I saw one now for sure. And it was just as popular with the ladies back in the day, if Don’s anything to go by. Probably because it cost mega-bucks in 1962 money. Women looooove a status symbol.
10.) That sexy, sexy voice.
All the smoking and drinking means he’s probably going to die really young of like emphysema or cirrhosis of the liver but it’s left him with that smouldering deep and low voice that I love so much. Can’t you just imagine him whispering sweet nothings to you? I’m just going to leave you with that thought…
Liberty-Belle is a remarkably average human being currently living in Leeds, in the UK. She enjoys all the finer things in life, such as cupcakes, burritos and TV. You can read more of her random musings on the latter at Minudrome or follow her on Twitter @fadefromblack.