Last week I got the flu. I had a pretty high fever, chills, body aches… the works. So, at the request of both my mother and WebMD, I went to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor. The whole experience makes me nervous. Why, you ask? Let me tell you!
1. I Could Run Into Someone I Know
When I’m sick, all I want are sweatpants and giant t-shirts. I don’t want to put on a bra or comb my hair or squeeze into a pair of jeans. I’m not a particularly vain person, but I’d prefer for people not to see me at my worst. No one needs that image.
2. Waiting Rooms
Waiting rooms are full of sick people coughing, sneezing and spreading germs. There is always some chatty person who’s too nice to be rude to, but who I really don’t want to talk to when my head is about to explode. Not to mention, the crappy magazines and seemingly endless parade of people who arrive after me and are called in before me. Waiting rooms are awful. In fact, I’m pretty sure hell is just one big waiting room.
3. Being Touched By Strangers
I don’t like to be touched, especially by strangers. This includes doctors and nurses, particularly those with freezing hands. It’s just uncomfortable and awkward and I’m not a fan.
4. What’s This Going To Cost Me?
I only go to a doctor for two reasons: to get drugs or to get tested for something. If I don’t think I need medicine or some kind of test, I’d rather stay in bed. The thing is, I never know how much these things are going to run me. The flu medicine I got last week was $50. That’s a significant amount of money that I would rather spend on six months of Netflix or ten soy vanilla lattes.
5. I Don’t Know When My Last Period Was
I understand the more information a doctor has, the easier it is for him or her to do their job. However, I feel as though some of the questions on the nurse’s questionnaire are too tricky. Do people really know the exact dates of their last period? Do you all keep period calendars like TV characters? Is there an app for that?
6. Feeling Judged
I always feel as though doctors and nurses are judging me. The disappointment on their faces when they have to check “zero” underneath “How many times a week do you exercise?” is too much to handle. I’m already feeling crappy, I don’t need your eye rolls.
7. Blood Tests
I hate blood tests. They make me light headed and dizzy. If I’m going to go through the uncomfortable process of giving blood, I’d rather it be donated. At least then I know that it’s being used to help people, rather than just run through a machine and thrown away. Also, cookies!
8. The Doctor Will Think I’m Faking
When I was little, my parents tried to send me to school with Scarlet Fever because they thought I was faking. I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a hypochondriac, so it wasn’t entirely unfounded. However, the trauma has stuck with me. It’s a major concern of mine that a doctor will think I’m faking and not treat me appropriately, which will inevitably lead to my slow and painful death. Speaking of death…
9. What If I Have Something Awful?
We’ve all heard stories about people who go to the doctor for a routine physical and leave with a death sentence. This is a pretty big concern of mine. WebMD is a huge perpetuator of this fear, given that no matter which symptoms I select, it always suggests that I have a brain tumor. On the flip side…
10. What If They Misdiagnose Me?
I’ve seen enough episodes of House to know that life-threatening diseases aren’t always easy to diagnose. What if I’m presenting with all the symptoms of the flu, but am actually dying of Ebola? I’m too young to die of Ebola. There’s so much I still have to do with my life, like get married and see the Grand Canyon.
Feature Image via Fanpop.com