I recently went to an ’80s-themed exercise class decked out in neon, leg warmers, and the best ponytail known to man: the “Full House” side ponytail. And then the next day I wanted to wear a high side ponytail again and I remembered that it’s been almost twenty years since Full House went off the air. Side ponytails are no longer cool. Scrunchies are no longer cool. Really swoopy hair on men is no longer cool. Basically nothing magical and beautiful is cool anymore.
I WANT crazy hairstyles to come back into style so I can wear them all the time. Actually, I might not even wait for the following styles to come back into fashion, I’m kind of into the idea of wearing them, walking out the door, and just waving off the WTF looks because I know I have the power of MAGIC HAIR on my side. Below, a list of the top styles I want to rock hard, whether or not they ever become cool again.
1.) Princess Leia Buns
Were these ever in style in real life or was it only cool a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? Whatever, don’t care, want it.
2.) Sailor Moon’s “Meatball Head”
I want this to be a hairstyle you can do with real person hair, please don’t tell me this is only possible if you are schoolgirl with superpowers and also a cartoon.
3.) Heidi Braids
Braids are cool again (see, everyone and their mother is wearing the Katniss Everdeen Single Side Braid) but I am not seeing enough Heidi Braids. I’m seeing some (Elle Fanning pictured above, JLaw and Rach McAdams have also rocked the milkmaid look) but we women of shoulder-length-hair-or-longer really need to get braiding and pinning.
Mad Men becoming popular was supposed to bring the beehive back! And it DIDN’T. Amy Winehouse (may she rest in peace) was also supposed to bring the beehive back and again, no go. Beehives are basically the sassiest hair can be. Want, want, want.
If we can’t go balls-to-the-wall beehive, can we at least bring the bump-it back? You’ve got me, I’m a girl that likes her volume, whenever I get a blowout I always ask the hair person to give me “Texas volume.”
6.) Pride and Prejudice Curls
Lots of curls pinned up top, lots of curls framing your face, just go make out with Mr. Darcy already.
Hilary Duff ALMOST brought crimping back. Above, Lizzie McGuire meeting Aaron Carter, who is giving her a boy band smile because her hair is the best. It’s up to us to carry on the Lizzie McGuire legacy. I have to go Google “Do they still sell crimping irons” now.
8.) The Rachel
When’s the last time we had a really trendy mid-length cut? Rachel Leigh Cook in She’s All That? Fifteen years ago! Bring back the mid-length! And if we’re going to bring back mid-length, we really should bring back the best version of this haircut in recorded history: Jennifer Aniston’s Friends-era “The Rachel.” 9.) Crayola Colors
Every time a fictional girl has crazy-color hair (Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Ramona Flowers in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World) I want to BE that girl. I want to sport Crayola-colored-coifs, every color in the box!
10.) Full House Side Ponytail
Let’s come back full circle. If anything should come back into fashion, it should be my dearly beloved side ponytail. Side ponytail, I love you so much, be patient, my friend, your time will come again. I know I didn’t nail every hairstyle that should come back into style tomorrow, because there are a hundred gazillion infinity plus one.
What are some styles you wish would get cool again so you could rock them with nary a WTF look?