— Heart to Heart

10 first date habits that are actually crazy rude


Dating is hard, even if you’re the most outgoing person in the whole-wide world. And it’s more common to strike out than to actually find someone with whom you actually have a connection. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t generally want to put our best foot forward and make an awesome first impression (we’re only human!). And that entails avoiding some first date habits that are actually rude.

Sometimes (in fact, all times), we’re not even doing these things intentionally. But occasionally nerves can get the best of us and we aren’t quite ourself on that first meetup — even when we think we’re being gracious and flexible.

It also takes two to proverbially tango, so maybe some of the things you’re doing on first dates are just reactions to the other person’s bad habits (like talking too much because the other person isn’t saying anything at all). But just so you can be confident it’s definitely not you, here are a list of 10 bad first-date habits to avoid at all costs.

1Checking your phone.

It is not easy to put your phone down, but unless you’re Olivia Pope and need to be on call to save the fate of America 24 hours a day, you don’t need your phone all the time. Checking our phones can be a nervous tick, so set yourself up for success by putting it in your bag (so it’s not within reach next to your glass of wine or in a pocket).

2Not asking the other person what they want to do.

This totally depends on your personality and the personality of your date. Some people prefer when the other person calls the shots and they don’t have to think too much. But taking total control of a date and planning without asking the other person is just rude. Even if the person says, “you pick the place,” don’t do that without asking if they prefer sushi or Italian. Try to think about what the person might like and what they can afford.

3Avoiding the bill, especially at a place you chose.

Guys shouldn’t have to always pay for the other person on a date when two cisgendered, straight people are out. That’s silly. Always offer to pay for at least half. If they insist on paying for dinner, offer to pay the tip in cash or get the Uber on the way out.  Just like you shouldn’t eat out at restaurants if you can’t afford the gratuity, you shouldn’t be going out on dates if you can’t afford it. If you’re broke and a person asks you out, be up front. Tell them you’d rather do something low key, free, or after you get your paycheck next week. They might still insist to cover the costs, but at least you made the gesture!

4Doing all the talking.

We are terrible at this, sometimes, especially when we’re nervous or the other person isn’t all that communicative. But remember to breathe, break, and give your date room to respond or share things about their own lives.

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