VH1 has a biopic in production about TLC, and I’m extremely impressed with their casting – they’re dead ringers for T-Boz, Left Eye, and Chilli. This got me wondering…what other bands from my childhood would make a good film, and who would play them?
The Spice Girls
Yes, they already have a movie, but it turns out Spice World isn’t actually a documentary. Who knew? This means that we need an actual biographical Spice Girls movie. I think Emma Stone has the hair and the attitude to make a mean Ginger Spice. If you have suggestions for the rest of the Spices, I’ll take ’em.
So apparently Hanson is back? I’ll be honest, I was pretty okay with them being gone, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to see the ‘MmmBop’ glory days relived in motion picture form. I’m thinking we could just cast the Jonas Brothers, and make them all wear long blonde wigs.
I’m shocked that there hasn’t been a movie about the Material Girl yet.. Since Lady Gaga is sort of trying to be the Madonna of our generation, what if she just played her in a movie?
Anyone who says they don’t want to see the surely awkward romance between Alanis and Dave Coulier reenacted onscreen is surely lying. I’d like to watch Kat Dennings give good old Joey Gladstone a piece of her mind after he dumps her.
Is it too soon to relive the journey from being America’s sweetheart to batshit crazy back to relative normalcy? I think not. As for casting – we’ll go with the obvious. Let’s revive Amanda Bynes’ acting career, though I think she would have looked the part more if she’d kept her old nose.
Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC
We could pretend that these bands have wildly different back stories…or we could do a mashup of two very unique boybands formed by the same man in Orlando in the ’90s, and have both bands played by the members of One Direction.
Yes, I know I lumped BSB and NSYNC into one movie, but no one in either of those bands ever went on national television unclear on whether a can of Chicken of the Sea contained chicken or fish. Also, I think Ashely Tisdale would nail this role.
S Club 7
I never had a dream come true til the day that I found S Club 7. As a bonus, this would be a super cheap movie to make as you don’t even have to film one, just recut some footage from their ABC Family show.
So I’m pretty sure by conventional standards, it is “too soon” for a Ke$ha biopic. But I can’t wait, you guys. Spirit animals! Past lives! Ghost sex! You can’t make this stuff up, but you can make it into a movie starring Lindsay Lohan or Miley Cyrus. (Fortunately, while I wait, Ke$ha is getting a docu-series on MTV.)
So he’s not an artist per se, but don’t we want to know the story of the man who brought us all our favorite songs on TRL? He could be played by his modern day equivalent, Ryan Seacrest, or by pretty much any moderately good looking and moderately bland actor.
Whose biopic do you want to see? And who would you cast in it?