That's Ba-Nanas

‘The Rachel Zoe Project’ Episode 6: Bathing Suits & Big Changes

This episode should be titled “Rachel Finally Looks Pregnant & Jeremiah Gets Fired.”

Rach, looking glamo-prego with a high ponytail, sitting in her immaculate kitchen with Joey and Jeremiah, gets on a conference call with Elle about an upcoming photoshoot. The concept is: Hotel Marmont backdrop, model wearing bathing suits and jewels.

Joey One-Liner sums it up:  “We’re basically gonna be staring at her naked wearing a billion dollars worth of diamonds.”

Rodger goes to visit his Euro-haired friend who’s at home with his Euro-haired son. I’m just assuming they’re from Italy, cause looks are never deceiving.

Rodge needs to vent to another father who’s been through it all. He wants to know if it’s OK that Rachel’s still working her booty off, days before delivery. His friend’s advice: Let Rach do her thing, and don’t yell at her. Sound advice.

At the office, Joey tells Jer, who’s wearing a wool hat, T-shirt and hoodie jacket, that he’s dressed like Mary-Kate and Ashley. If I were rich, I would also pay Joey to move across the country to entertain/work for me.

Joey’s phone is blowing up with all kinds of emails about the shoot that Jer’s not copied on, and Jer’s starting to freak out a little. Joey preps him on how to act at the shoot, and Jer, who’s kinda sick, looks like he just wants a nap.

Jer continues to pull some shoes for the shoot, and has a little convo with Mandana. When he tells her he’s bringing extra shoes, cause, “Options, options, options!” rather than saying it, he sings. This is Jer’s trademark: Sometimes he just sings stuff. But usually it’s when he’s feeling nervous about something and trying to pretend not to be, so maybe this is not a good sign.

Mandana gives Jer a few more pointers and reinforces that no one knows what he’s gonna do at Rachel Zoe Inc., but if he keeps doing a good job, maybe he won’t get fired.

The morning of the shoot, Jordan helps Jer set up the endless bags of clothing that Elle brought. But when Jer can’t find Rachel’s favorite jewelry, all hell breaks loose. At least in the depths of his mind. There’s no singing this time—only grunting. Cue dramatic music. Alas, he finds it. Singing ensues, “Ohhh my God.”

To sum up the shoot, a beautiful model gets shot in some major outfits around a pool, Joey takes pictures and makes Rachel laugh and Jer stresses out about how helpful he’s being. Meanwhile, Rach and Joey have a lovefest.

When Rachel is forced to decide if she should add just one more job before the baby comes, a magazine cover shoot—of her—Joey says “I don’t think you’ve ever been on the cover of a magazine before for a positive reason.” If anyone else said this it would sound horribly mean, but Joey has the ability to dish honesty while still being a BFF.

At the office, Jer butters Marisa up by telling her she looks really pretty and then says he wants to talk about “the future.” He decides it would be a great idea for him to launch Rachel Zoe Home. Marisa gives him the logical answer that while he would probably be great at the job, they’re a few years away from being ready to launch RZ Home.

Jer skips over this comment to talk up how good he’d be at the job, and Marisa finally agrees to talk to the team about it, making it clear that outlook is not good.

Next, we get this incredible scene, where Jer needs some work to do, and Mandana unearths the fact that Jeremiah basically doesn’t know how to use a computer. “Leave me alone, I build stuff!”

Over at Rachel’s cover shoot, Joey’s getting her primped, and she tells him she wants him to do her makeup for the hospital. She’s thinking a red lip. And she bought a Chanel cardigan for the car ride. I’m not making this up.

She puts on a sequin tiger dress which actually fits her pregnant body perfectly.

When they ask Rodge to join her for one shot, it’s immediately apparent that he’s not mature enough to be in a photoshoot.

Jer, or “Miah” as they call him (I’m not a fan), meets with Rodge who gives him the news that there’s not much for him to do, and they’re letting him go. This comes as a complete surprise to him. He feels like he hasn’t had the opportunity to prove himself. This is true, since Joey flew out at the same time that Jer started, and any chance he might have had to get hands-on at photoshoots mainly went to Joey.

Rodge tries to tell Jer that he’s not really a stylist, he’s an interior decorator. This is coming from a good place, but not so much what Jer wanted to hear.

Poor Jeremiah. We’ll miss you.

Top photo from Amazon. All other photos via BravoTV.

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